Mercy had never before felt the sensation of being a homeless wanderer.  She was utterly unprepared for it.  All through the breaking up of their home and the preparations for their journey, she had been buoyed up by excitement and anticipation.  Much as she had grieved to part from some of the friends of her early life, and to leave the old home in which she was born, there was still a certain sense of elation in the prospect of new scenes and new people.  She had felt, without realizing it, a most unreasonable confidence that it was to be at once a change from one home to another home.  In her native town, she had had a position of importance.  Their house was the best house in the town; judged by the simple standards of a Cape Cod village, they were well-to-do.  Everybody knew, and everybody spoke with respect and consideration, of “Old Mis’ Carr,” or, as she was perhaps more often called, “Widder Carr.”  Mercy had not thought—­in her utter inexperience of change, it could not have occurred to her—­what a very different thing it was to be simply unknown and poor people in a strange place.  The sense of all this smote upon her suddenly and keenly, as they jolted along in the noisy old carriage on this dark, rainy night.  Stephen White’s indifferent though kindly manner first brought to her the thought, or rather the feeling, of this.  Each new glimmer of the home-lights deepened her sense of desolation.  Every gust of rain that beat on the carriage roof and windows made her feel more and more like an outcast.  She never forgot these moments.  She used to say that in them she had lived the whole life of the loneliest outcast that was ever born.  Long years afterward, she wrote a poem, called “The Outcast,” which was so intense in its feeling one could have easily believed that it was written by Ishmael.  When she was asked once how and when she wrote this poem, she replied, “I did not write it:  I lived it one night in entering a strange town.”  In vain she struggled against the strange and unexpected emotion.  A nervous terror of arriving at the hotel oppressed her more and more; although, thanks to Harley Allen’s thoughtfulness, she knew that their rooms were already engaged for them.  She felt as if she would rather drive on and on, in all the darkness and rain, no matter where, all night long, rather than enter the door of the strange and public house, in which she must give her name and her mother’s name on the threshold.

When the carriage stopped, she moved so slowly to alight that her mother exclaimed petulantly,—­

“Dear me, child, what’s the matter with you?  Ain’t you goin’ to git out?  Ain’t this the tavern?”

“Yes, mother, this is our place,” said Mercy, in a low voice, unlike her usual cheery, ringing tones, as she assisted her mother down the clumsy steps from the old-fashioned, high vehicle.  “They’re expecting us:  it is all right.”  But her voice and face belied her words.  She moved all through the rest of the evening like one in a dream.  She said little, but busied herself in making her mother as comfortable as it was possible to be in the dingy and unattractive little rooms; and, as soon as the tired old woman had fallen asleep, Mercy sat down on the floor by the window, and leaning her head on the sill cried hard.