“Loving my own life and senses as I do, no power shall induce me, as a private individual, to open another Fashionable Novel.  But luckily, in this dilemma, comes a hand from the clouds; whereby if not victory, deliverance is held out to me.  Round one of those Book-packages, which the Stillschweigen’sche Buchhandlung is in the habit of importing from England, come, as is usual, various waste printed-sheets (Maculatur-blatter), by way of interior wrappage:  into these the Clothes-Philosopher, with a certain Mahometan reverence even for waste-paper, where curious knowledge will sometimes hover, disdains not to cast his eye.  Readers may judge of his astonishment when on such a defaced stray-sheet, probably the outcast fraction of some English Periodical, such as they name Magazine, appears something like a Dissertation on this very subject of Fashionable Novels!  It sets out, indeed, chiefly from a Secular point of view; directing itself, not without asperity, against some to me unknown individual named Pelham, who seems to be a Mystagogue, and leading Teacher and Preacher of the Sect; so that, what indeed otherwise was not to be expected in such a fugitive fragmentary sheet, the true secret, the Religious physiognomy and physiology of the Dandiacal Body, is nowise laid fully open there.  Nevertheless, scattered lights do from time to time sparkle out, whereby I have endeavored to profit.  Nay, in one passage selected from the Prophecies, or Mythic Theogonies, or whatever they are (for the style seems very mixed) of this Mystagogue, I find what appears to be a Confession of Faith, or Whole Duty of Man, according to the tenets of that Sect.  Which Confession or Whole Duty, therefore, as proceeding from a source so authentic, I shall here arrange under Seven distinct Articles, and in very abridged shape lay before the German world; therewith taking leave of this matter.  Observe also, that to avoid possibility of error, I, as far as may be, quote literally from the Original:—­

ARTICLES OF FAITH.

’1.  Coats should have nothing of the triangle about them; at the same time, wrinkles behind should be carefully avoided.

’2.  The collar is a very important point:  it should be low behind, and slightly rolled.

’3.  No license of fashion can allow a man of delicate taste to adopt the posterial luxuriance of a Hottentot.

’4.  There is safety in a swallow-tail.

’5.  The good sense of a gentleman is nowhere more finely developed than in his rings.

’6.  It is permitted to mankind, under certain restrictions, to wear white waistcoats.

‘7.  The trousers must be exceedingly tight across the hips.’

“All which Propositions I, for the present, content myself with modestly but peremptorily and irrevocably denying.