“Sure, I’ll caper out to Yonkers if the rest of the crowd want to.  I am just that kind of a fellow.  Ain’t I, Wilbur, dear?  Oh, my, don’t for mercy sakes disturb him.  He’s hunting locations for the Friar three-sheets that Mr. Gillen slipped ’em.  He’s got Mr. McManus’ art studies planted now so that the burg looks like a Kansas town the day after the number two car of the circus leaves.

“Did you know that they are enlarging the secret tunnel in the new Friary so that Toxen Worm can get his getaway if the occasion should arise?  Honest, it looks like the front view of the Hoboken tunnel.  Oh, law me, what is that in the offening?  Eureka!  It’s another cafe, or do muh eyes deceive me?  I am athirst, let us rest our weary beast and partake of a flagon of nut brown ale.  Say, I guess I would be bad in this Shakespeare thing.  Alight, fair maids, and nominate your idea provokers.

“Waiter, follow those people’s directions and do not let the mice build nests under your feet.  Sink this and we will then continue our journey.

“Now, Sadie, as a friend I ask you don’t do a ballet on them crackers.  Run over the mutt.  What care we for life.  Gee, the canine is right there as the artful dodger.  Ah! what?  Bing!  What was that?  A puncture!  My!  For goodness sake, how long will we be bogged down.  Oh, we can wait that long, can’t we, dears?  Pipe the yokel.  Shall I hand him a game of chatter?  No?  Oh, very well.

“Let’s have a picnic.  Wilbur, get on the job and skid out the liquids.  Alla, you may bring out what is left of the crackers.  If that woman hasn’t paraded over them biscuits until there isn’t a piece there big enough to make a nice comfortable mouthful for a young flea.

“Throw ’em away, we don’t want to overload our stomachs anyhow.  Can you surpass that for a man.  Here we’ve come all these weary miles carefully nursing these bottles to our bosoms and then that excuse there has the crust to speak up and say, ‘I forgot the corkscrew.’  Can you beat it?  Wilbur, you just get on the job and pull them out with your teeth.  Get away, you big standup and fall down, I’ll show you how to get them out.  What do you think us fair sex wear hat pins for, hey, shover?  Want some of this jig juice for your tire?  Right-o!  Ain’t I the English scamp?  Got her fixed all right?  Climb in, folks, and we will journey homeward, for I am beginning to feel thirsty and you certainly don’t get the same treatment here that you do in town.  Sadie, now that the crackers are gone I wish you would please remember that that is my foot.  Say, you can never learn some of these dolls nothing.  Nothing personal, my dear, though your hair is light.

“Don’t you dish me out any hectic language, for I am a lady.  I might forget myself and smear one all over you.  Wilbur, are you going to sit up there and see your near-bride insulted by a woman?  If you don’t come back here and make her stop abusing me I’ll take and bump your two hearts together.  Now that goes if you hear it and I am speaking in no whisper.