“What ‘a we got in the larder?  Fifteen bottles and 10 cents’ worth of crackers.  My! it seems to me you are squandering an awful lot of money on food.  Of course, if we get shipwrecked or something they may come in handy, but at present writing they are excess baggage.

“Whoa, chauffeur!  Don’t you see that bock beer sign?  Whenever you see one of those turn the corner and stop at the family entrance.  Hitch the machine and we will all soon see what mine host has in the way of nourishment.  Sadie, it is not necessary to show such unseeming haste, as it is now but early noon and the place does not close until after midnight.

“This is a low-browed dump, but any port in a storm, as the poets say.  As I am directing this Cook’s tour we will have but one drink here.

“Wilbur, how do you know that the bar-keeps name is George?  Have you been false to me and been here with another?  Bartenders are called George just like Chinamen are called John?  What are you trying to bale out to me?  Do you think I am a boob?

“Now, Alla, go to it and quench your thirst, for it may be several blocks before we stop again.  My, ain’t this warm weather glorious!  It makes one so thirsty.  Come, people, let’s get back in the herdic, for we have a long journey ahead of us.

“There you go again, Sadie.  Stepping all over the crackers.  Before we get through we will have to take them in capsules.  Look out for that car!  Gee, those cars are bad enough without being mashed up more by some sneeze wagon.  Certainly we’ll go through the Fifth avenue entrance to the park.  I may be some things, but I am no piker, and, besides, we got as much license as anybody.  I remember when I used to go horseback riding through here every morning and I always had my groom in a beautiful red livery following me.  I had the most beautiful black horse and an elegant riding habit.  Why, there wasn’t a day but what I was invited out to lunch.  Sadie, that was very uncalled for.  I am in no trance.  You, of course, not being accustomed to those things, naturally look upon those people who were brought up on such stuff as balloon juice merchants.  Maybe that will make you stand hitched.

“Look at that hearse go by us.  Driver, if you are any good you will make that outfit look as if they were bound to the bannister.

“That’s right, give them a touch of high life.  Zow-e, if we are going less than a mile a minute I hope I have to walk home.  Cheese, there’s a bike cop.  Can you loose him?  Beat it.  Good-by, Bobby.  Look out, there’s another one in front.  Slow up, for goodness sake, or we will be pinched.  What is it, sergeant?  Oh, no, sir.  Not more than six miles an hour, I am sure.