“A certain friend of mine, who, by the way, I wouldn’t trust any further than I can throw an elephant by the tail, had the nerve to take me up in her apartment the other day and show me her new bathing suit she had just imported from Paris.  It was a swell thing all right, but sewed in the waistband was a piece of cloth that said ‘Burgomaster 2’ on it, so you can draw your own conclusions.

“Honest, the way some girls steal is something awful.  Take it from me, it’s nothing less than stealing to swipe a wardrobe.  Of course, if the show is going to close it’s all right, but from a successful production, never.  Lifting a scarfpin from a soused party is all right, for he is supposed to do something to remunerate the lady for wasting her time by taking her to supper.

“Spring has sure come and I do just glory in nature.  I suppose that is because I was brought up in the country.  We never have anything but nature in Emporia.

“Oh, I heard from the folks the other day, and they tell me that Emporia is now growing to be some town.  The bank is putting up a four-story brick building, which is going to be looked on as the village skyscraper.

“The town council has already passed resolutions restricting the height of the buildings to six stories.  They ain’t going to take the chance that New York does, and have some of these big tall ten-story affairs topple over into their streets.

“All the yaps out in that neighborhood are lining out for the spring plowing now while the yaps here are lining out for the spring millinery openings.  I already got the dressmaker on the job for seven or eight modest little frocks that will make them sit up and take notice Sundays down at Manhattan Beach.

“I have decided that I am going to be an athletic girl this summer, and am already taking exercise every day.  Why, I walk all the way from the subway to the hotel, and that’s nearly half a block.

“Say, what do you know about this?  Posey Golden has married her first husband.

“Honest!  You know they were divorced shortly after she got a good job, and have been living apart ever since.

“She married again to the nicest gambler you ever met.  But he got stung on a sleeper, and had to hock the family jewels, and Posey said that was cruelty, for she could never have the face to go down to the dining room for breakfast without all of her diamonds on; she had worn them every day since they struck the St. Reckless, and she was afraid it might cause talk among the waiters and guests because she always treated them with a calm air of condescension, and they would lay for the chance to get in a hammer.  So she put in a bid for a divorce and got it.

“Then she met her first better half on the street and, after having a little supper, they decided to sneak through the tunnel, take it on the run for Newark and again become one.

“Imagine anybody going to Newark to get married!  Imagine any one going to Newark for anything!