“Then along toward afternoon I climb into some chic frock—­get that?—­and taxey down here to look things over.  Say, maybe you don’t think this butterfly existence is all to the berries.  The other evening I kicked down to a show I once worked in and, believe me, if some of those dames knew what they looked like from the front they certainly would rush out and hide in the cow lot.

“Honest, there is one doll who thinks she has got every prize beauty in the country biting her finger nails with jealousy.  Well, she came out, led out at that.  I nearly dropped dead in my seat.  You know that I am not a knocker, and there is nothing I hate worse than to hear one lady pan another behind her back, so I will merely make this statement.  If this person would stop trying to use up all the number 18 in the block, would get operated on for knock-knees, have her face changed and stop trying to be a very dear friend to the whole bald-headed department during the opening chorus, she’d be all right and might get a job with a medicine show.  I know how she keeps her job all right, all right.  I ain’t mentioning any names, but a certain party, old enough to be her grandfather, had to put money into the show before they would even let her have her voice tried.  I was out to dinner with the same crowd that she was with the other evening.  Arthur and I were sitting at the table in the restaurant waiting for the rest of the crowd when in she canters, dressed up regardless like a queen in a book, in a low-neck gag.  She run a bluff as if she just had it made, but if a certain K. & E. wardrobe mistress ever catches her with it on this party is due to get pinched for petty larceny.  As soon as she spotted me she rushed over and yelped, ‘Oh, Sabrina, I’m charmed to see you.’  And kissed me—­the cat.  Then she said, ‘Dearie, I understand you have inherited a fortune.’  And raised her eyebrows just like that.  Now I had been kidded enough about that legacy of mine, and when that doll, that ain’t such a muchness herself, commences to hand out inferences, I naturally lost my goat, but remembering that I am now a lady I let go of my hatpin and merely remarked, ’Yes, but I came by it honestly, and I can safely say that I am no Foxy Grandpa’s fair-haired child.’

“That terse remark made her sit up and take notice, for she had been telling one of the members of the party who she was trying to make a hit with that she got her money from her large estates in England.  The only thing she knows about England she learned at a Burton Holmes lecture that she got into on a ticket she found in the subway.

“The gentlemen of the party called time and we sat down to the table.  She started putting on airs and telling what she knew about the Thaw trial, so to let her know that I was right there I passed out this one, ’It’s a cinch if anybody did any shooting to save your life he’ll get the chair the first throw out of the box, and the jury won’t be out any longer than it takes to get their hats, either.’  Say, if she had had a gun she’d have shot me.  One of the gentlemen remarked to me, ’You don’t care for this young lady, do you?’ I said, ’Sure, I like her.  I like her about as much as Bingham likes Jerome.’