“A couple of whisky sales gentlemen joined our little gathering and proposed a race.  You know I do so love athletic sports.  I don’t mean prize fighters or ball players, but feats of strength.  The whisky gentlemen had a little the best start, for they had been running trial heats.  The way we staged that drinking number was a crime.  How we ended up I care not, neither do I spin.  I can merely state that Mamie and I slid for home in a sea-going taxicab, leaving Wilbur saying things to the head waiter that no lady would listen to.

“Oh, say, are you here with any extra junk?  No, this ain’t no touch.  But if you have got a reckless bundle I know how you can double it in a few weeks.  A gentleman friend of mine was captain of a fake wire-tapping game until he got put out of business by the hard times and the lack of suckers—­synonymous.  He is selling stock of a proposition that has anything from Goldfield chased back to the desert.  This is the scheme:  Listerine.  He’s going to train carrier pigeons to rush the growler.  The Chorus Girls’ Union have already elected him an honorary vice-president.  You see, he gets these birds and trains them to carry the pail in their teeth and smell out the nearest saloon, even a blind tiger—­no matter where they are.  Then he rents the birds out by the dozen to the theatrical organizations—­special rates to musical comedies—­so that all the poor merry-merry has to do if there is no gentleman without is get a bird from the property man, beat it for the furnished room, drop ten cents in the bucket, write a little note to the bartender merely stating:  ‘Mother has company, so not so much foam, please,’ open the window and start the dove of peace on its mission of happiness.  You needn’t be afraid of the pigeon sneaking up an alley and drinking half of it and then coming back with the stall, ’The boss is on tonight; there ain’t no bellhop to tip and all the bird wants is three or four grains of corn, mother, and its just as happy and care free as if you opened wine.  Won’t that be a boon to humanity, though?  If he don’t get a Carnegie medal things are run wrong.  Another stunt he is going to pull off is canned cheese sandwiches.  Well, I got to toddle along.  The Ladies’ Auxiliary to the Anvil Chorus is going to hold a meeting in Alla Sweenie’s apartments.  Was you ever one of them?  Well, when those dames get on the job and are grouped it makes Elinor Glyn’s opinion of the Pilgrim Mothers seem like words of praise.  So long.”

    In which Sabrina receives money from an unexpected source, and
    brings to light how she came to receive it and what she intends
    doing when the entire sum is given her.

CHAPTER THREE

“Providence has got to throw something besides ‘crap,’ some time or other,” remarked Sabrina, the show girl as we complimented her upon her new gown.  “And I guess I am there with rings on my fingers and bells on my toes, or words to that effect.  Take me by the hand and lead me to some secluded nook and I will unburden my young soul.”