When the rest had concurred in the same opinion, CRITES [i.e., Sir ROBERT HOWARD] (a person of a sharp judgment, and somewhat a too delicate a taste in wit, which the World have mistaken in him for ill nature) said, smiling, to us, “That if the concernment of this battle had not been so exceeding[ly] great, he could scarce have wished the victory at the price, he knew, must pay for it; in being subject to the reading and hearing of so many ill verses, he was sure would be made upon it.”  Adding, “That no argument could ’scape some of those eternal rhymers, who watch a battle with more diligence than the ravens and birds of prey; and the worst of them surest to be first in upon the quarry:  while the better able, either, out of modesty, writ not at all; or set that due value upon their poems, as to let them be often called for, and long expected.”

“There are some of those impertinent people you speak of,” answered LISIDEIUS [i.e., Sir CHARLES SEDLEY], “who, to my knowledge, are already so provided, either way, that they can produce not only a Panegyric upon the Victory:  but, if need be, a Funeral Elegy upon the Duke, and, after they have crowned his valour with many laurels, at last, deplore the odds under which he fell; concluding that his courage deserved a better destiny.”  All the company smiled at the conceit of LISIDEIUS.

But CRITES, more eager than before, began to make particular exceptions against some writers, and said, “The Public Magistrate ought to send, betimes, to forbid them:  and that it concerned the peace and quiet of all honest people, that ill poets should be as well silenced as seditious preachers.”

“In my opinion” replied EUGENIUS, “you pursue your point too far!  For, as to my own particular, I am so great a lover of Poesy, that I could wish them all rewarded, who attempt but to do well.  At least, I would not have them worse used than SYLLA the Dictator did one of their brethren heretofore. Quem in concione vidimus (says TULLY, speaking of him) cum ei libellum malus poeta de populo subjecisset, quod epigramma in eum fecisset tantummodo alternis versibus longiuculis, statim ex iis rebus quae tunc vendebat jubere ei praemium tribui, sub ea conditione ne quid postea scriberet.”

“I could wish, with all my heart,” replied CRITES, “that many whom we know, were as bountifully thanked, upon the same condition, that they would never trouble us again.  For amongst others, I have a mortal apprehension of two poets, whom this Victory, with the help of both her wings, will never be able to escape.”

“’Tis easy to guess, whom you intend,” said LISIDEIUS, “and without naming them, I ask you if one [i.e., GEORGE WITHER] of them does not perpetually pay us with clenches upon words, and a certain clownish kind of raillery?  If, now and then, he does not offer at a catachresis [which COTGRAVE defines as ’the abuse, or necessary use of one word, for lack of another more proper’]