I will suppose once again, that the design of these persons is to gain glory:  and I shall ask them, Can there be any greater in the world, than doing general good?  To omit future reward, Was it not always esteemed of old, that correcting evil practices, reducing people that lived amiss, was much better than making a high rant about a shuttlecock, and talking tara-tantara about a feather?  Or if they would be only admired, then would I gladly have them consider, What a thin and delicate kind of admiration is likely to be produced, by that which is not at all understood?  Certainly, that man has a design of building up to himself real fame in good earnest, by things well laid and spoken:  his way to effect it is not by talking staringly, and casting a mist before the people’s eyes; but by offering such things by which he may be esteemed, with knowledge and understanding.

Thus far concerning Hard Words, High Notions, and Unprofitable Quotations out of learned languages.

I shall now consider such things as are ridiculous, that serve for chimney and market talk, after the sermon be done; and that do cause, more immediately, the preacher to be scorned and undervalued.

I have no reason, Sir, to go about to determine what style or method is best for the improvement and advantage of all people.  For, I question not but there have been as many several sorts of Preachers as Orators; and though very different, yet useful and commendable in their kind.  TULLY takes very deservedly with many, SENECA with others, and CATO, no question! said things wisely and well.  So, doubtless, the same place of Scripture may by several, be variously considered:  and although their method and style be altogether different, yet they may all speak things very convenient for the people to know and be advised of.  But yet, certainly, what is most undoubtedly useless and empty, or what is judged absolutely ridiculous, not by this or that curious or squeamish auditor, but by every man in the Corporation that understands but plain English and common sense, ought to be avoided.  For all people are naturally born with such a judgement of true and allowable Rhetoric, that is, of what is decorous and convenient to be spoken, that whatever is grossly otherwise is usually ungrateful, not only to the wise and skilful part of the congregation, but shall seem also ridiculous to the very unlearned tradesmen [mechanics] and their young apprentices.  Amongst which, may be chiefly reckoned these following, harsh Metaphors, childish Similitudes, and ill-applied Tales.

The first main thing, I say, that makes many sermons so ridicuous, and the preachers of them so much disparaged and undervalued, is an inconsiderate use of frightful Metaphors:  which making such a remarkable impression upon the ears, and leaving such a jarring twang behind them, are oftentimes remembered to the discredit of the Minister as long as he continues in the parish.