Amongst the first things that seem to be useless, may be reckoned the high tossing and swaggering preaching, either mountingly eloquent, or profoundly learned.  For there be a sort of Divines, who, if they but happen of an unlucky hard word all the week, they think themselves not careful of their flock, if they lay it not up till Sunday, and bestow it amongst them, in their next preachment.  Or if they light upon some difficult and obscure notion, which their curiosity inclines them to be better acquainted with, how useless soever! nothing so frequent as for them, for a month or two months together, to tear and tumble this doctrine! and the poor people, once a week, shall come and gaze upon them by the hour, until they preach themselves, as they think, into a right understanding.

Those that are inclinable to make these useless speeches to the people; they do it, for the most part, upon one of these two considerations.  Either out of simple phantastic glory, and a great studiousness of being wondered at; as if getting into the pulpit were a kind of Staging [acting]; where nothing was to be considered but how much the sermon takes! and how much stared at!  Or else, they do this to gain a respect and reverence from their people:  “who,” say they, “are to be puzzled now and then, and carried into the clouds!  For if the Minister’s words be such as the Constable uses; his matter plain and practical, such as comes to the common market; he may pass possibly for an honest and well-meaning man, but by no means for any scholar!  Whereas if he springs forth, now and then, in high raptures towards the uppermost heavens; dashing, here and there, an all-confounding word! if he soars aloft in unintelligible huffs! preaches points deep and mystical, and delivers them as darkly and phantastically! this is the way,” say they, “of being accounted a most able and learned Instructor.”

Others there be, whose parts stand not so much towards Tall Words and Lofty Notions, but consist in scattering up and down and besprinkling all their sermons with plenty of Greek and Latin.  And because St. PAUL, once or so, was pleased to make use of a little heathen Greek; and that only, when he had occasion to discourse with some of the learned ones that well understood him:  therefore must they needs bring in twenty Poets and Philosophers, if they can catch them, into an hour’s talk [evidently the ordinary length of a sermon at this time, see pp. 259, 313]; spreading themselves in abundance of Greek and Latin, to a company, perhaps, of farmers and shepherds.

Neither will they rest there, but have at the Hebrew also! not contenting themselves to tell the people in general, that they “have skill in the Text, and the exposition they offer, agrees with the Original”; but must swagger also over the poor parishioners, with the dreadful Hebrew itself! with their BEN-ISRAELS!  BEN-MANASSES! and many more BENS that they are intimately acquainted with! whereas there is nothing in the church, or near it by a mile, that understands them, but GOD Almighty! whom, it is supposed, they go not about to inform or satisfy.