they judge of their abilities; if he can sing over very tunably three or four stanzas of LILLY’s Poetry; be very quick and ready to tell what is Latin for all the instruments belonging to his father’s shop; if presently [at sight], upon the first scanning, he knows a Spondee from a Dactyl, and can fit a few of those same, without any sense, to his fingers’ ends; if, lastly, he can say perfectly by heart his Academic Catechism, in pure and passing Latin, i.e., “What is his Name?” “Where went he to School?” and “What author is he best and chiefly skilled in?” “A forward boy!” cries the Schoolmaster:  “a very pregnant child!  Ten thousand pities, but he should be a Scholar; he proves a brave Clergyman, I’ll warrant you!”

Away to the University he must needs go!  Then for a little Logic, a little Ethics, and, GOD knows! a very little of everything else!  And the next time you meet him, he is in the pulpit!

Neither ought the mischief which arises from small country schools to pass unconsidered.  The little mighty Governors whereof, having, for the most part, not sucked in above six or seven mouthsful of University air, must yet, by all means, suppose themselves so notably furnished with all sorts of instructions, and are so ambitious of the glory of being counted able to send forth, now and then, to Oxford or Cambridge, from the little house by the Churchyard’s side, one of their ill-educated disciples, that to such as these ofttimes is committed the guidance and instruction of a whole parish:  whose parts and improvements duly considered, will scarce render them fit Governors of a small Grammar Castle.

Not that it is necessary to believe, that there never was a learned or useful person in the Church, but such whose education had been at Westminster or St. Paul’s.  But, whereas most of the small schools, being by their first founders designed only for the advantage of poor parish children, and also that the stipend is usually so small and discouraging that very few who can do much more than teach to write and read, will accept of such preferment:  for these to pretend to rig out their small ones for a University life, proves ofttimes a very great inconvenience and damage to the Church.

And as many such Dismal Things are sent forth thus, with very small tackling; so not a few are predestinated thither by their friends, from the foresight of a good benefice.  If there be rich pasture, profitable customs, and that HENRY VIII. has taken out no toll, the Holy Land is a very good land, and affords abundance of milk and honey!  Far be it from their consciences, the considering whether the lad is likely to be serviceable to the Church, or to make wiser and better any of his parishioners!

All this may seem, at first sight, to be easily avoided by a strict examination at the Universities; and so returning by the next carrier, all that was sent up not fit for their purpose.  But because many of their relations are ofttimes persons of an inferior condition; and who (either by imprudent counsellors, or else out of a tickling conceit of their sons being, forsooth, a University Scholar) have purposely omitted all other opportunities of a livelihood; to return such, would seem a very sharp and severe disappointment.