A foreigner inquiring the way to a friend’s lodging, whom he said lived at Mr. Bailey’s, senior, was shown to the Old Bailey, by a Bow-street officer.  When he entered the court he imagined that it was his friend’s levee.

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BENEFIT OF CORRECTION.

A certain bishop declared one day, that the punishment used in schools did not make boys a whit better, or more tractable; it was insisted that whipping was of the utmost service, for every one must allow it made a boy smart.

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FRENCH AND ENGLISH.

“C’est la Soupe,” says one of the best of proverbs, “qui fait le Soldat;” “It is the soup that makes the soldier.”  Excellent as our troops are in the field, there cannot be a more unquestionable fact, than their immense inferiority to the French in the business of cookery.  The English soldier lays his piece of ration beef at once on the coals, by which means, the one and the better half is lost, and the other burnt to a cinder.  Whereas six French troopers fling their messes into the same pot, and extract a delicious soup, ten times more nutritious than the simple Roti could ever be.

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THE FAMILY SUIT.

The son-in-law of a chancery barrister having succeeded to the lucrative practice of the latter, came one morning in breathless ecstasy to inform him that he had succeeded in bringing nearly to its termination, a cause which had been pending in the court of scruples for several years.  Instead of obtaining the expected congratulations of the retired veteran of the law, his intelligence was received with indignation.  “It was by this suit,” exclaimed he, “that my father was enabled to provide for me, and to portion your wife, and with the exercise of common prudence it would have furnished you with the means of providing handsomely for your children and grand-children.”

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PORK CHOPS.

It is related, that Fuseli, the celebrated artist, when he wished to summon Nightmare, and bid her sit for her picture, or any other grotesque or horrible personations, was wont to prime himself for the feat by supping on about three pounds of half-dressed pork-chops.

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ARDUOUS BAPTISM.

An infant was brought for baptism into a country church.  The clergyman, who had just been drinking with his friends a more than usual quantum of the genial juice, could not find the place of the baptism in his ritual, and exclaimed, as he was turning over the leaves of the book, “How difficult this child is to baptize!”