II.—­The Feast of the God of Laughter

It was the jolliest banquet I was ever at.  Even in Corinth we did not do the thing so well.  It was not until I got into the open air, and set out for Milo’s house, that I knew how much wine I had taken.  But though I was rather unsteady on my feet, I retained my presence of mind.  I reached the house, and suddenly three great burly fellows sprang up, and battered furiously at the door.  They were clearly robbers of the most desperate type, and I drew my sword, and, as they came at me one by one, I plunged it swiftly into their bodies.  Fotis was aroused, and opened the door, and I entered, utterly worn out by the struggle, and went at once to bed and to sleep.

Early in the morning I was awakened by a great clamour.  A throng of people burst into my bedroom, and two lictors arrested me, and dragged me to the forum.  But as they took me through the streets and squares, everybody turned out to see me, and the crowd grew so great that the forum was not large enough to hold the people, and I was led to the theatre.

There the lictors pushed me down through the proscenium, as though I were a victim for sacrifice, and put me in the centre of the orchestra.

“Citizens,” said the prefect of the watch, “as I was going on my rounds late last night, I saw this ferocious young foreigner, sword in hand, slashing and stabbing three inoffensive creatures.  When I arrived they were lying dead upon the ground.  Their murderer, overwhelmed by his terrible crime, fled into a house, and hid there, hoping, no doubt, to escape in the morning.  Men of Hypata, you do not allow your own fellow-townsmen to commit murder with impunity.  Shall, then, this savage, brutal alien avoid the consequences of his fearful crime?”

For some time I could not reply.  The suddenness of the whole thing terrified me, and it was with a voice broken with sobs that I at last managed to make my defence.

“They were robbers,” I cried, “robbers of the most desperate and vilest character!  I caught them breaking into the house of my friend Milo, your esteemed fellowtownsman, oh, citizens of Hypata!  There were three of them—­three great, rough, burly rascals, each more than a match for a mere boy like myself.  Yet I managed to kill them; and I think I deserve praise at your hands, and not censure, for my public-spirited action.”

Here I stopped, for I saw that all the vast multitude of people was laughing at me.  And what grieved me most was to see my kinswoman Byrrhena and my host Milo among my mockers.  The senior magistrate ordered the wheel and other instruments of torture to be brought forth.

“I cannot believe a mere boy like this could have slain three great strong men single-handed,” he said.  “He must have had accomplices, and we must torture him until he reveals the names of his partners in this most dastardly crime.  But, first of all, let him look upon the bodies of the men he has foully murdered.  Perhaps that will melt his hard, savage nature.”