Slovenry Grobianus magnifieth:[120]
Sodomitry a cardinal commends,
And Aristotle necessary deems. 
In brief, all books, divinity except,
Are nought but tales of the devil’s laws,
Poison wrapt up in sugar’d words,
Man’s pride, damnation’s props, the world’s abuse. 
Then censure, good my lord, what bookmen are: 
If they be pestilent members in a state,
He is unfit to sit at stern of state,
That favours such as will o’erthrow his state. 
Blest is that government, where no art thrives;
Vox pupuli, vox Dei,
The vulgar’s voice it is the voice of God. 
Yet Tully saith, Non est concilium in vulgo,
Non ratio, non discrimen, non differentia,
The vulgar have no learning, wit, nor sense. 
Themistocles, having spent all his time
In study of philosophy and arts,
And noting well the vanity of them,
Wish’d, with repentance for his folly pass’d,
Some would teach him th’art of oblivion,
How to forget the arts that he had learn’d. 
And Cicero, whom we alleged before,
(As saith Valerius), stepping into old age,
Despised learning, loathed eloquence. 
Naso, that could speak nothing but pure verse,
And had more wit than words to utter it,
And words as choice as ever poet had,
Cried and exclaim’d in bitter agony,
When knowledge had corrupted his chaste mind: 
Discite, qui sapitis, non haec quae scimus inertes,
Sed trepidas acies et fera bella sequi.[121]
You that be wise, and ever mean to thrive,
O, study not these toys we sluggards use,
But follow arms, and wait on barbarous wars. 
Young men, young boys, beware of schoolmasters;
They will infect you, mar you, blear your eyes: 
They seek to lay the curse of God on you,
Namely, confusion of languages,
Wherewith those that the Tower of Babel built
Accursed were in the world’s infancy. 
Latin, it was the speech of infidels;
Logic hath nought to say in a true cause;
Philosophy is curiosity;
And Socrates was therefore put to death,
Only for he was a philosopher. 
Abhor, contemn, despise these damned snares.

WILL SUM.  Out upon it! who would be a scholar? not I, I promise you:  my mind always gave me this learning was such a filthy thing, which made me hate it so as I did.  When I should have been at school construing, Batte, mi fili, mi fili, mi Batte, I was close under a hedge, or under a barn-wall, playing at span-counter or jack-in-a-box.  My master beat me, my father beat me, my mother gave me bread and butter, yet all this would not make me a squitter-book.[122] It was my destiny; I thank her as a most courteous goddess, that she hath not cast me away upon gibridge.  O, in what a mighty vein am I now against horn-books!  Here, before all this company, I profess myself an open enemy to ink and paper.  I’ll make it good upon the accidence, body [of me,] that in speech is the devil’s paternoster.  Nouns and pronouns, I pronounce you as traitors to boys’ buttocks; syntaxis and prosodia, you are tormentors of wit, and good for nothing, but to get a schoolmaster twopence a-week.  Hang, copies!  Fly out, phrase-books! let pens be turn’d to pick-tooths!  Bowls, cards, and dice, you are the true liberal sciences!  I’ll ne’er be a goosequill, gentlemen, while I live.