SUM. O vanity itself: O wit ill-spent!
So study thousands not to mend their lives,
But to maintain the sin they most affect,
To be hell’s advocates ’gainst their own
souls.
Ver, since thou giv’st such praise to beggary,
And hast defended it so valiantly,
This be thy penance: thou shalt ne’er appear
Or come abroad, but Lent shall wait on thee:
His scarcity may countervail thy waste.
Riot may flourish, but finds want at last.
Take him away that knoweth no good way,
And lead him the next way to woe and want. [Exit
VER.
Thus in the paths of knowledge many stray,
And from the means of life fetch their decay.
WILL SUM. Heigho. Here is a coil indeed to bring beggars to stocks. I promise you truly I was almost asleep; I thought I had been at a sermon. Well, for this one night’s exhortation, I vow, by God’s grace, never to be good husband while I live. But what is this to the purpose? “Hur come to Fowl,” as the Welshman says, “and hur pay an halfpenny for hur seat, and hur hear the preacher talg, and hur talg very well, by gis[37]; but yet a cannot make her laugh: go to a theatre and hear a Queen’s Fice, and he make hur laugh, and laugh hur belly full.” So we come hither to laugh and be merry, and we hear a filthy, beggarly oration in the praise of beggary. It is a beggarly poet that writ it; and that makes him so much commend it, because he knows not how to mend himself. Well, rather than he shall have no employment but lick dishes, I will set him a work myself, to write in praise of the art of stooping, and how there never was any famous thresher, porter, brewer, pioneer, or carpenter that had straight back. Repair to my chamber, poor fellow, when the play is done, and thou shalt see what I will say to thee.
SUM. Vertumnus, call Solstitium.
VER. Solstitium, come into the court: without, peace there below! make room for Master Solstitium.
Enter SOLSTITIUM, like an aged hermit, carrying a pair of balances, with an hour-glass in either of them—one hour-glass white, the other black: he is brought in by a number of Shepherds, playing upon recorders.[38]
SOL. All hail to Summer, my dread sovereign lord.
SUM. Welcome, Solstitium: thou art one of
them,
To whose good husbandry we have referr’d
Part of those small revenues that we have.
What hast thou gain’d us? what hast thou brought
in?