my beloved creature, you were very vehement.
Do you think it must not be matter of high regret
to me, to find my wishes so often delayed and postponed
in favour of your predominant view to a reconciliation
with relations who will not be reconciled to you?—To
this was owing your declining to celebrate our nuptials
before we came to town, though you were so atrociously
treated by your sister, and your whole family; and
though so ardently pressed to celebrate by me—to
this was owing the ready offence you took at my four
friends; and at the unavailing attempt I made to see
a dropt letter; little imagining, from what two such
ladies could write to each other, that there could
be room for mortal displeasure—to this
was owing the week’s distance you held me at,
till you knew the issue of another application.—But,
when they had rejected that; when you had sent my
cold-received proposals to Miss Howe for her approbation
or advice, as indeed I advised; and had honoured me
with your company at the play on Saturday night; (my
whole behaviour unobjectionable to the last hour;)
must not, Madam, the sudden change in your conduct
the very next morning, astonish and distress me?—and
this persisted in with still stronger declarations,
after you had received the impatiently-expected letter
from Miss Howe; must I not conclude, that all was
owing to her influence; and that some other application
or project was meditating, that made it necessary
to keep me again at a distance till the result were
known, and which was to deprive me of you for ever?
For was not that your constantly-proposed preliminary?—Well,
Madam, might I be wrought up to a half-phrensy by
this apprehension; and well might I charge you with
hating me.—And now, dearest creature, let
me know, I once more ask you, what is Miss Howe’s
opinion of my proposals?
Were I disposed to debate with you, Mr. Lovelace,
I could very easily answer your fine harangue.
But at present, I shall only say, that your ways
have been very unaccountable. You seem to me,
if your meanings were always just, to have taken great
pains to embarrass them. Whether owing in you
to the want of a clear head, or a sound heart, I cannot
determine; but it is to the want of one of them, I
verily think, that I am to ascribe the greatest part
of your strange conduct.
Curse upon the heart of the little devil, said I,
who instigates you to think so hardly of the faithfullest
heart in the world!
How dare you, Sir! And there she stopt; having
almost overshot herself; as I designed she should.
How dare I what, Madam? And I looked with meaning.
How dare I what?
Vile man—And do you—And there
again she stopt.
Do I what, Madam?—And why vile man?
How dare you curse any body in my presence?
O the sweet receder! But that was not to go
off so with a Lovelace.
Why then, dearest creature, is there any body that
instigates you?—If there be, again I curse
them, be they whom they will.