At church or a ball game, a dance or a show,
There’s one thing about her I know that I know—­
At weddings or funerals, dinners of taste,
You can bet that her hand will dive into her waist,
And every few minutes she’ll strike up a pose,
And the whole world must wait till she powders her nose.

The Chip on Your Shoulder

You’ll learn when you’re older that chip on your shoulder
  Which you dare other boys to upset,
And stand up and fight for and struggle and smite for,
  Has caused you much shame and regret. 
When Time, life’s adviser, has made you much wiser,
  You won’t be so quick with the blow;
You won’t be so willing to fight for a shilling,
  And change a good friend to a foe.

You won’t be a sticker for trifles, and bicker
  And quarrel for nothing at all;
You’ll grow to be kinder, more thoughtful and blinder
  To faults which are petty and small. 
You won’t take the trouble your two fists to double
  When someone your pride may offend;
When with rage now you bristle you’ll smile or you’ll whistle,
  And keep the good will of a friend.

You’ll learn when you’re older that chip on your shoulder
  Which proudly you battle to guard,
Has frequently shamed you and often defamed you
  And left you a record that’s marred! 
When you’ve grown calm and steady, you won’t be so ready
  To fight for a difference that’s small,
For you’ll know, when you’re older that chip on your shoulder
  Is only a chip after all.

All for the Best

Things mostly happen for the best. 
However hard it seems to-day,
When some fond plan has gone astray
Or what you’ve wished for most is lost
An’ you sit countin’ up the cost
With eyes half-blind by tears o’ grief
While doubt is chokin’ out belief,
You’ll find when all is understood
That what seemed bad was really good.

Life can’t be counted in a day. 
The present rain that will not stop
Next autumn means a bumper crop. 
We wonder why some things must be—­
Care’s purpose we can seldom see—­
An’ yet long afterwards we turn
To view the past, an’ then we learn
That what once filled our minds with doubt
Was good for us as it worked out.

I’ve never known an hour of care
But that I’ve later come to see
That it has brought some joy to me. 
Even the sorrows I have borne,
Leavin’ me lonely an’ forlorn
An’ hurt an’ bruised an’ sick at heart,
In life’s great plan have had a part. 
An’ though I could not understand
Why I should bow to Death’s command,
As time went on I came to know
That it was really better so.

Things mostly happen for the best. 
So narrow is our vision here
That we are blinded by a tear
An’ stunned by every hurt an’ blow
Which comes to-day to strike us low. 
An’ yet some day we turn an’ find
That what seemed cruel once was kind. 
Most things, I hold, are wisely planned
If we could only understand.