Tutt and Mr. Tutt eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 250 pages of information about Tutt and Mr. Tutt.

Tutt and Mr. Tutt eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 250 pages of information about Tutt and Mr. Tutt.

“Not unless he believes that the Deity will punish him if he breaks his oath,” answered Mr. Tutt.  “Let me try him on that?”

“Ah Fong, do you think God will punish you if you tell a lie?”

Fong looked blank.  The interpreter fired a few salvos.

“He says it makes a difference the kind of oath.”

“Suppose it is a promise to tell the truth?”

“He says what kind of a promise?”

“A promise on the Bible,” answered Mr. Tutt patiently.

“He says what god you mean!” countered the interpreter.

“Oh, any god!” roared Mr. Tutt.

The interpreter, after a long parley, made reply.

“Ah Fong says there is no binding oath except on a chicken’s head.”

Judge Bender, O’Brien and Mr. Tutt gazed at one another helplessly.

“Well, there you are!” exclaimed the lawyer.  “Mr. O’Brien’s oath wasn’t any oath at all!  What kind of a chicken’s head?”

“A white rooster.”

“Quite so!” nodded Mr. Tutt.  “Your Honor, I object to this witness being sworn by any oath or in any form except on the head of a white rooster!”

“Well, I don’t happen to have a white rooster about me!” remarked O’Brien, while the jury rocked with glee.  “Ask him if something else won’t do.  A big book for instance?”

The interpreter put the question and then shook his head.  According to Ah Fong there was no virtue in books whatever, either large or small.  On some occasions an oath could be properly taken on a broken plate—­also white—­but not in murder cases.  It was chicken or nothing.

“Are you not willing to waive the formality of an oath, Mr. Tutt?” asked the judge in slight impatience.

“And wave my client into the chair?” demanded the lawyer.  “No, sir!”

“I don’t see what we can do except to adjourn court until you can procure the necessary poultry,” announced Judge Bender.  “Even then we can’t slaughter them in court.  We’ll have to find some suitable place!”

“Why not kill one rooster and swear all the witnesses at once?” suggested Mr. Tutt in a moment of inspiration.

* * * * *

“My God, chief!” exclaimed O’Brien at four o’clock.  “There ain’t a white rooster to be had anywhere!  Hens, yes!  By the hundred!  But roosters are extinct!  Tomorrow will be the twenty-first day of this prosecution and not a witness sworn yet.”

However, a poultryman was presently discovered who agreed simply for what advertising there was in it to furnish a crate of white roosters, a hatchet and a headsman’s block, and to have them in the basement of the building promptly at ten o’clock.

Accordingly, at that hour Judge Bender convened Part IX of the General Sessions in the court room and then adjourned downstairs, where all the prospective witnesses for the prosecution were lined up in a body and told to raise their right hands.

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Tutt and Mr. Tutt from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.