A moment later these corruscating gems were swept into Uncle Jap’s hand.

“What did they cost ye?”

“Twenty-seven hundred dollars.”

“Suffering Moses!  Endorse that as paid on the back of the note.  Got it down?  Yas.”  Uncle Jap folded up the note and placed it carefully in a large pocket-book.  “Now write out, good an’ plain, what I tell ye.  Ready?  Date an’ address first.  That’s right.  Now——­”

Obviously, he was pulling himself together for a tremendous literary effort.  Mrs. Panel had hold of my arm, and was squeezing it hard.  Uncle Jap began—­

“’This is to certify that I, Nathaniel Leveson, the undersigned, have been fooling with the wrong end of a mule, viz., Jasper Panel, who’s as self-opinionated a critter as ever marched with Sherman to the Sea——­’ What air you doing?”

Leveson had laid down his pen.  “This is farce,” he said sharply.

“We’ll hev your criticism after the play is over,” retorted Uncle Jap decisively.  “I’m talkin’ now.  Pick up that thar pen, and don’t lay it down agen till I tell ye, or,” the muzzle of the Colt almost touched the perspiring forehead of the Colossus, “or else, by Golly, thar’ll be a terr’ble muss to clean up in here to-morrer mornin’.  That’s better.  Lemmee see, whar was I? ’Sherman to the Sea,’ yas.  Now:  ’I tried to down Jasper Panel, and he’s downed me.  I’m a nateral born hog, and I eat with all four feet in the trough.’ Underline that, it’s good. ’I’m big, an sassy, an’ full o’ meanness, but what sand I’ve got ain’t to be seen with a double-barrelled microscope.  I’m as false as Judas; an’ Ananias wouldn’t be seen walkin’ arm in arm with me in the place whar I’d oughter be to-night.  I’d steal milk from a blind kitten an’ sell it as cream to my own mother five minutes after.’ Underline that:  it’s straight goods.  Now then fer the finish. ’I wouldn’t offer a fair price fer Sunny Bushes, because I aimed ter git it fer nothing.  I wouldn’t allow others to buy it fer the same reason.  I used the power that the Devil give me to prevent a railroad, which I own, furnishin’ cars to J. Panel, an’ las’ly, I caused money ter be loaned to said J. Panel so’s to git him completely under my heel.  Also I built a church in San Lorenzy, an’ I write these yere lines in the vestry of it as a sorter penance.  I swear solemn that this is the first time in my life that I ever tole the truth, an’ I’ll never do it agen, if I know myself.’

“Sign that, an’ give it ter me,” said Uncle Jap.

Leveson, purple with rage and humiliation, signed it.

* * * * *

At this psychological moment we made our presence known.

“Uncle Jap,” said I, “don’t you think that document ought to be witnessed.”

“Jee-whillikins!  Ef it ain’t you.  Who’s that a-peekin’ behind ye?”

“It’s me, Jaspar,” said Mrs. Panel meekly.