Nevertheless, even in his times of deepest humiliation, moments of heavenly comfort were interspersed.
11 mo. 23.—A more improved meeting than I had reason to hope from cross occurrences, which are too apt to ruffle the unstable mind. Daring our silent sitting together, I was comforted in contemplating the many encouraging passages we have left on sacred record; two of which, spoken by one of large experience, were particularly solacing to my exercised feelings: “Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivereth him out of them all;” and “The young lions do lack and suffer hunger, but they that seek the Lord shall not want any good thing.” O, thought I, if we could only procure Him on our side who has the thoughts of all men in his keeping, what should we have to fear! We should then be brought to acknowledge that it behooves a Christian traveller to crave the assistance of Him who can enable us to suffer with becoming fortitude and resignation all the afflicting dispensations of life, rather than desire to be preserved from meeting them.
The hard mutter which is the subject of the next extract embodies a difficulty that has perplexed many. It is always encouraging to find companionship in doubts and trials, and perhaps the consideration which pacified the mind of John Yeardley may be helpful to some who are tried in the same way. The passage, no doubt, has reference to his own want of better success in business.
11 mo. 30.—When any circumstance in the common course of life, which has appeared to turn up in the direction of Divine Providence, has not answered my expectation, or on deliberate consideration it has not seemed prudent for me to step into it, I have sometimes felt greatly discouraged, and been ready to conclude, How could this thing be ordered under the direction of best wisdom! But let me ever remember, He who has his way in the whirlwind knows what is best for us; and were it not for these incitements to an exercise of feeling, the mind would be apt to lie dormant, and not be preserved alive in a proper state to prove all things and hold fast that which is best.
About the end of the year he was obliged to spend several days in London on business. The course of his affairs seems to have been uneven, and the great city was probably uncongenial to his retired habits. He says:—
12 mo. 15.—I do not remember that my feelings were ever more discouraging, both inwardly and outwardly. When the mind is ruffled about the things of time, it is hard work to make any progress towards the land of peace. I try to get to the well of water; but truly it may be said I have nothing to draw with.
Yet even under these circumstances his daily religious practices—those which no competitor for the meed of peace and the crown of glory can dispense with—were not without avail.
16_th_.—In reading and retirement before I left my room, I received a little hope that I should be preserved in a good degree of patience through the cross occurrences of the day, which was measurably the case.