FOUR P.M.

    What was it, ANNA?  I was sound asleep;
      I rather think I had the nightmare, too. 
    I feel half sick; cold chills around me creep. 
      Well, thank the Lord, Thanksgiving is all through!

* * * * *

A Pen and an Inkling.

A certain HERR BISSENGER, of Pforzhelm, has presented BISMARCK with a golden pen, set with jewels, with which to sign the treaty after the capture of Paris.  Foresight is well enough in its way; but if the treaty which is to end this war is not a very different one from any BISMARCK has yet suggested, penning his signature to it will be merely a preliminary to his repentance for being so short-sighted as not to see that Sedan, not Paris, was the place at which to make a lasting peace.

* * * * *

A Chance for Metaphysicians to be Useful.

The German metaphysicians who have been so long bothering the world with reports of their searches after the undiscoverable, should now exercise whatever skill they have gained in this pursuit, in looking for signs of republican protest in Germany against the growing tyranny of their Prussian masters.  Such a course would do their own country good, and, if successful, would be most grateful to the rest of the world.

* * * * *

A Twist of the Cable.

Telegrams per cable state that “VON DER TANN is retreating”—­also that “a Prussian bark has been blown up.”

Combining these two statements, we obtain an excellent quality of Tan Bark, which may or may not be suggestive of further “Hidings” of the Prussians by the French.

* * * * *

Grant-ed.

Recent disclosures concerning the President’s Cabinet would go to show that this piece of administrative furniture is a cabinet with Drawers.

* * * * *

Bad for their Health.

Travel is so impeded by the terrible state of affairs at present existing in France, that the Prussians cannot take Tours.

* * * * *

New Occupation for the President.

A display heading in the World of November 18th has the following astounding line:—­

“GRANT cuts SCHURZ.”

* * * * *

[Illustration:  NONE THE BETTER FOR TOO MUCH NURSING.

Dr. W.G.  Bryant.—­“MR. KELLEY, THAT POOR CHILD PENNSYLVANIA HAS BEEN FED TOO EXCLUSIVELY WITH PIG-IRON PAP.  SUPPOSE YOU TRY SOME OF MY FREE-TRADE MIXTURE, AND SEE IF THAT WON’T RESTORE IT TO HEALTH.”]

* * * * *

HIRAM GREEN SURPRISED.

His Fellow-Citizens Present Him with a Silver Tea Service.

When the Hon. BILL SOOWARD allers gets home from a voyige, the sitezens of Auburn give him a warm recepshen.