Diary of a Nobody eBook

Weedon Grossmith
This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 167 pages of information about Diary of a Nobody.

Diary of a Nobody eBook

Weedon Grossmith
This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 167 pages of information about Diary of a Nobody.

January 4.—­Mr. Perkupp sent for me and told me that my position would be that of one of the senior clerks.  I was more than overjoyed.  Mr. Perkupp added, he would let me know to-morrow what the salary would be.  This means another day’s anxiety; I don’t mind, for it is anxiety of the right sort.  That reminded me that I had forgotten to speak to Lupin about the letter I received from Mr. Mutlar, senr.  I broached the subject to Lupin in the evening, having first consulted Carrie.  Lupin was riveted to the Financial News, as if he had been a born capitalist, and I said:  “Pardon me a moment, Lupin, how is it you have not been to the Mutlars’ any day this week?”

Lupin answered:  “I told you!  I cannot stand old Mutlar.”

I said:  “Mr. Mutlar writes to me to say pretty plainly that he cannot stand you!”

Lupin said:  “Well, I like his cheek in writing to you.  I’ll find out if his father is still alive, and I will write him a note complaining of his son, and I’ll state pretty clearly that his son is a blithering idiot!”

I said:  “Lupin, please moderate your expressions in the presence of your mother.”

Lupin said:  “I’m very sorry, but there is no other expression one can apply to him.  However, I’m determined not to enter his place again.”

I said:  “You know, Lupin, he has forbidden you the house.”

Lupin replied:  “Well, we won’t split straws—­it’s all the same.  Daisy is a trump, and will wait for me ten years, if necessary.”

January 5.—­I can scarcely write the news.  Mr. Perkupp told me my salary would be raised 100 pounds!  I stood gaping for a moment unable to realise it.  I annually get 10 pounds rise, and I thought it might be 15 pounds or even 20 pounds; but 100 pounds surpasses all belief.  Carrie and I both rejoiced over our good fortune.  Lupin came home in the evening in the utmost good spirits.  I sent Sarah quietly round to the grocer’s for a bottle of champagne, the same as we had before, “Jackson Freres.”  It was opened at supper, and I said to Lupin:  “This is to celebrate some good news I have received to-day.”  Lupin replied:  “Hooray, Guv.!  And I have some good news, also; a double event, eh?” I said:  “My boy, as a result of twenty-one years’ industry and strict attention to the interests of my superiors in office, I have been rewarded with promotion and a rise in salary of 100 pounds.”

Lupin gave three cheers, and we rapped the table furiously, which brought in Sarah to see what the matter was.  Lupin ordered us to “fill up” again, and addressing us upstanding, said:  “Having been in the firm of Job Cleanands, stock and share-brokers, a few weeks, and not having paid particular attention to the interests of my superiors in office, my Guv’nor, as a reward to me, allotted me 5 pounds worth of shares in a really good thing.  The result is, to-day I have made 200 pounds.”  I said:  “Lupin, you are joking.”  “No, Guv., it’s the good old truth; Job Cleanands put me on to Chlorates.”

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Diary of a Nobody from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.