Diary of a Nobody eBook

Weedon Grossmith
This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 167 pages of information about Diary of a Nobody.

Diary of a Nobody eBook

Weedon Grossmith
This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 167 pages of information about Diary of a Nobody.

When I returned to the parlour, Gowing was retailing his idiotic joke about the odd sock, and Carrie was roaring with laughter.  I suppose I am losing my sense of humour.  I spoke my mind pretty freely about Padge.  Gowing said he had met him only once before that evening.  He had been introduced by a friend, and as he (Padge) had “stood” a good dinner, Gowing wished to show him some little return.  Upon my word, Gowing’s coolness surpasses all belief.  Lupin came in before I could reply, and Gowing unfortunately inquired after Daisy Mutlar.  Lupin shouted:  “Mind your own business, sir!” and bounced out of the room, slamming the door.  The remainder of the night was Daisy Mutlar—­Daisy Mutlar—­ Daisy Mutlar.  Oh dear!

November 26, Sunday.—­The curate preached a very good sermon to-day—­very good indeed.  His appearance is never so impressive as our dear old vicar’s, but I am bound to say his sermons are much more impressive.  A rather annoying incident occurred, of which I must make mention.  Mrs. Fernlosse, who is quite a grand lady, living in one of those large houses in the Camden Road, stopped to speak to me after church, when we were all coming out.  I must say I felt flattered, for she is thought a good deal of.  I suppose she knew me through seeing me so often take round the plate, especially as she always occupies the corner seat of the pew.  She is a very influential lady, and may have had something of the utmost importance to say, but unfortunately, as she commenced to speak a strong gust of wind came and blew my hat off into the middle of the road.

I had to run after it, and had the greatest difficulty in recovering it.  When I had succeeded in doing so, I found Mrs. Fernlosse had walked on with some swell friends, and I felt I could not well approach her now, especially as my hat was smothered with mud.  I cannot say how disappointed I felt.

In the evening (Sunday evening of all others) I found an impertinent note from Mr. Burwin-Fosselton, which ran as follows: 

“Dear Mr. Pooter,—­Although your junior by perhaps some twenty or thirty years—­which is sufficient reason that you ought to have a longer record of the things and ways in this miniature of a planet--I feel it is just within the bounds of possibility that the wheels of your life don’t travel so quickly round as those of the humble writer of these lines.  The dandy horse of past days has been known to overtake the slow Coach.

“Do I make myself understood?

“Very well, then!  Permit me, Mr. Pooter, to advise you to accept the verb. sap.  Acknowledge your defeat, and take your whipping gracefully; for remember you threw down the glove, and I cannot claim to be either mentally or physically a Coward!

“Revenons a nos moutons.

“Our lives run in different grooves.  I live for my art—­the stage.  Your life is devoted to commercial pursuits—­’A life among Ledgers.’  My books are of different metal.  Your life in the City is honourable, I admit.  But how different!  Cannot even you see the ocean between us?  A channel that prevents the meeting of our brains in harmonious accord.  Ah!  But chacun a son gout.

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Project Gutenberg
Diary of a Nobody from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.