for conscience. Even had all been plain sailing,
I do not hint that I should have drawn back.
Smuggling is one of the meanest of crimes, for by that
we rob a whole country pro rata, and are therefore
certain to impoverish the poor: to smuggle opium
is an offence particularly dark, since it stands related
not so much to murder, as to massacre. Upon all
these points I was quite clear; my sympathy was all
in arms against my interest; and had not Jim been
involved, I could have dwelt almost with satisfaction
on the idea of my failure. But Jim, his whole
fortune, and his marriage, depended upon my success;
and I preferred the interests of my friend before
those of all the islanders in the South Seas.
This is a poor, private morality, if you like; but
it is mine, and the best I have; and I am not half
so much ashamed of having embarked at all on this
adventure, as I am proud that (while I was in it, and
for the sake of my friend) I was up early and down
late, set my own hand to everything, took dangers
as they came, and for once in my life played the man
throughout. At the same time, I could have desired
another field of energy; and I was the more grateful
for the redeeming element of mystery. Without
that, though I might have gone ahead and done as well,
it would scarce have been with ardour; and what inspired
me that night with an impatient greed of the sea,
the island, and the wreck, was the hope that I might
stumble there upon the answer to a hundred questions,
and learn why Captain Trent fanned his red face in
the exchange, and why Mr. Dickson fled from the telephone
in the Mission Street lodging-house.
CHAPTER XI. IN WHICH JIM AND I TAKE DIFFERENT WAYS.
I was unhappy when I closed my eyes; and it was to
unhappiness that I opened them again next morning,
to a confused sense of some calamity still inarticulate,
and to the consciousness of jaded limbs and of a swimming
head. I must have lain for some time inert and
stupidly miserable, before I became aware of a reiterated
knocking at the door; with which discovery all my
wits flowed back in their accustomed channels, and
I remembered the sale, and the wreck, and Goddedaal,
and Nares, and Johnson, and Black Tom, and the troubles
of yesterday, and the manifold engagements of the
day that was to come. The thought thrilled me
like a trumpet in the hour of battle. In a moment,
I had leaped from bed, crossed the office where Pinkerton
lay in a deep trance of sleep on the convertible sofa,
and stood in the doorway, in my night gear, to receive
our visitors.
Johnson was first, by way of usher, smiling.
From a little behind, with his Sunday hat tilted forward
over his brow, and a cigar glowing between his lips,
Captain Nares acknowledged our previous acquaintance
with a succinct nod. Behind him again, in the
top of the stairway, a knot of sailors, the new crew
of the Norah Creina, stood polishing the wall with
back and elbow. These I left without to their
reflections. But our two officers I carried at
once into the office, where (taking Jim by the shoulder)
I shook him slowly into consciousness. He sat
up, all abroad for the moment, and stared on the new
captain.