Well, pa was the foolishest man in the lot, ’cause he had tied the lariat rope that he held his elk by, around his belt, and when the elk went over the hill pa was only hitting the high places, and he was yelling for me to head off his elk.  But I was busy trying to keep up with my antelope, which was scared worse than any animal in the race.  When the antelope and I overtook the boss canvasman, who was digging his heels into the ground trying to hold his zebra, I thought it was a good time to say something pleasant, so I said:  “This is a lovely country we are passing through,” but I never heard his reply, ’cause just then the zebra jumped over a big cactus and the boss canvasman went into it, and stayed there, yelling for a piece of ice, while the zebras that were dragging the treasurer and the ticket taker passed us.  I yelled to the treasurer and told him I should have to have my salary raised if I was expected to keep up with my antelope, but he told me where to go to get an increase of salary, some place in Arkansas—­maybe Hot Springs.

[Illustration:  Dad Was Only Hitting the High Places.]

[Illustration:  The Boss Canvasman Went Into a Cactus.]

Then my antelope heard the Indians and cowboys coming behind, and he got his second wind, and I never did touch the ground no more, and I must have looked like a buzzard sailing through the air.  When my antelope got up to where pa was trying to keep up with his elk.  I told pa he better let go his elk and get the cowboys and Indians to ride around ahead of the stampede and head them off.

Pa said he couldn’t let go of his elk ’cause the rope was tied to his belt, but for me to hit the ground somewhere ahead and let go of that jack rabbit I was chasing, and tell the cowboys to head off the stampede.  So when I lit again I let go the rope, and the antelope got ahead of everything, and I wished I had bet on him.

When the cowboys and Indians got up to me I delivered the message from pa, and they divided and went around the flanks of the stampeders, and in another mile they headed them off in a nice pasture, and kept riding around the animals so they couldn’t get away.  They soon had the whole bunch under control, and we all got together to see if anybody was hurt.

Well, pa was the worst sight of all If his belt had broke he never would have lost his pants, ’cause more than a million cactus thorns had gone through and pinned them on.  We had to cut them off, and pull out the thorns with pincers, one at a time, and pa yelling murder for every thorn.  The boss canvasman was in the same fix, and everybody that tried to hold an animal was pinned together with thorns, and they had gravel up their trousers from sticking their heels into the soil.

Everybody was mad and they threatened to lynch pa when they got back to the tent for suggesting letting the animals out to graze.  We started back to town, the cowboys and Indians driving the animals, and the zebras and giraffes kicking up and acting as though they had got out of school on account of the death of a dear teacher, like schoolboys.