“On the Crown Prince’s birthday he and his staff dined with the King of Prussia at the Prefecture at Versailles, where covers were laid for eighty.”

Will PRUSSIA have the goodness to inform PUNCHINELLO (post-paid) how many victims of the battle-field covers have been laid for since the beginning of the war?

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Confidential.

Business at the Interior Department will now be done up in a rapid manner, for there can be no delay by DELA-NO.

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PUNCHINELLO CORRESPONDENCE.

ANSWERS TO CORRESPONDENTS.

Veritas. A paragraph has been going the rounds of the papers, giving some description of an animal called the “Tygomelia”—­a sort of camelopard—­said to have lately been captured in the Hudson Bay Territory.  Is any such animal known to naturalists? Answer. Not that we know of; but there’s no telling what sort of animals the writer of the paragraph referred to might have running in his head.

Blondula. My hair has gradually assumed a lovely golden hue, but my complexion is very dark.  Will eating arsenic make me fair? Answer. Stuff! (but not with arsenic.) Keep a candy-store, and be fair in your dealings.

Ornithologist. I have a stuffed specimen of a beautiful bird called the “Wax-wing.”  Was this kind of bird known to the ancients, and, if so, where can I find a description of it? Answer. Look for ICARUS, in LEMPRIERE’S Dictionary.  ICARUS was the son of DAEDALUS.  It is said that old DAEDY, his daddy, made wings for him, and stuck them on with cobbler’s wax.  ICKY took flight with them, and got so close to the sun that the wax melted and his wings came off.  Then JUPITER caught him in his umbrella as he was falling, and transformed him to the bird known as the “Wax wing.”

G.F.  TRAIN.  Down with the Uhlans!  Up with the black flag!  Killed four Uhlans before breakfast this morning.  Uhlans wear baggy sky-blue breeches.  Give ’em sky-blue fits!  BOURBAKI dined with me yesterday.  American fare.  Gopher soup; rattlesnake hash; squirrel saute; fricasseed opossum; pumpkin pie.  That’s your sort!  Blue coat and brass buttons.  White Marseilles waistcoat.  France saved by Marseilles waistcoat.  Organize earthquake to swallow London.  JOHN BULL trembles.  Tours trembles.  Italy trembles.  Leaning tower of Pisa changes base and slopes other way.  Tired of France.  Change base and slope other way.  PUNCHINELLO for the throne of Spain!  Down with AOSTA!  Down with effete monarchies!  Down with rents!  Up with G.F.  TRAIN! Answer. Certainly.

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PUNCHINELLO TO “THE SUN.”