As the group broke up in the dim light of the dying embers, J.W. stumbled into Joe Carbrook, and the two headed for the tents together. They had been on a much more friendly footing since Thursday.
“Say, J.W.,” said Joe, abruptly, “what’s the matter with me? I came to this place without knowing just why; thought I’d just have a good time, I suppose; but here I am being bumped up against something new and big every little while, until I wonder if it’s the same world that I was living in before I came. Do you suppose anybody else feels that way? Is it the place? Or the people? Or what?”
“I don’t just know,” said J.W., trying to keep from showing his surprise. “I feel a good deal that way myself. I think it’s maybe that this is the first time we’ve ever been forced to look squarely at some of the things that seem so natural here. At home it’s easy to dodge. You know that, only you’ve dodged one way and I’ve done it another.”
“But do you feel different, the way I do, J.W.? Do you feel like saying to yourself: ’Looka here, Joe Carbrook, quit being a fool. See what you could do if you settled down to getting ready for something real. Like being a doctor, now.’ Do you feel that way? You don’t know it, but I’ve always thought I could be a doctor, if I could see anything in it. And then the other side of me speaks up and says: ’Joe Carbrook, don’t kid yourself. You know you haven’t got the nerve to try, even if you had the grit to stick it through.’ Is it that way with you, J.W.? You’ve paid more attention to religion and all that than I ever did. And what you said on Thursday about the ‘Big Idea’ has kept me guessing ever since.”
“No, Joe, my trouble’s not like yours. I know I can’t be a doctor, nor a preacher, nor a missionary. I’ve got nothing of that in me. But what we heard to-night at the camp fire came straight at me. As I tried to say the other day, if you get the ‘Big Idea’ of the Institute, Christian service looks like a great life. But me—I’ve no hope to be anything particular; just one of the crowd. And I never quite saw until to-night how that might be a great life too.”
As they were parting, J.W. ventured a bold suggestion. “Say, Joe, if you think you could be a doctor, why not a missionary doctor?"
Joe’s answer was a swift turning on his heel, and he strode away with never a word.