* * * * *

Geometrical.

Why is it that we hear so much of the proper “Sphere” of woman?  Here is that noble exile, the Princess Editha Montez, lecturing again, and her subject, of course, is the Spherical one.  So when Mesdames Stanton, Dickinson, Anthony, Howe—­all the lovely lecturers—­discourse, they forget the platform which is plane, and discuss the “sphere” which is mysterious.  Can it possibly be that it is because these amiable gentlewomen are always going round?  Or is it because they cannot help reasoning in a circle?  Or is there some occult relation between spheres and hoops?  Or has the wedding-ring something to do with it?  It should be understood, that these are questions addressed solely to male mathematicians; for Mr. P. is unlike John Graham, and doesn’t care to cross-examine ladies.

* * * * *

Secretion extraordinary.

It is done by Mollusks.  We can tell you even the precise kind—­it is the Gasteropod kind.  Not only this, we know the very devil himself that does it. (And you will say that “devil” is not a particle too rough a term, when we come to tell what it is he “secretes.”) It is the Dolium galea, good friends, and we could tell you six other kinds that are suspected of this meanness.  One of ’em is the Pleurobranchidium —­which, of course, you have often heard of.

Well, what do these wretched Mollusks go and secrete?  We can tell you—­we, who know everything.  It is sulphuric acid!  What! do they steal it?  Oh, no; they “evolve” it—­probably from the “depths of their own consciousness.”

And what do they do it for?  Well, they bore with it.  Give ’em a chance, and they’ll go through you.  The acid eats its way, and then they eat their way.  That way is not ours, exactly; but we have known human beings about as venomous as this creature, and with precisely the same tendency to pierce one.  They do it with their tongues, it is true, but the perforation is complete.

* * * * *

THE WRONG PLACE.

We are unusually astonished to find the Female Reformers holding their meeting in this city in Apollo Hall.  It is well known that Apollo was a god of the male persuasion; and to have everything “mix up well,” these philosophical dames should have a Minerva Hall or a Diana Hall of their own.  Besides, was not Apollo the God of Harmony?  Precious little of that same was there at this meeting; for there was the Medical Mary Walker trying to make a speech, while the Chairwoman put her down, causing Mary de Medici to cry out with shrill indignation:  “Tyrant!” Bless us! we thought all the tyrants were we Bearded Ones.

* * * * *

A LETTER FROM CHICAGO.