Take the advice of one which knows,
      & try to shun the evil,
    To see a woman in man’s close
      Looks wusser nor the d—–­l.

Which is the opinion of your humbley sarvent,

HIRAM GREEN, ESQ.,

Lait Gustise of the Peece.

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FRESH FROM THE FLOWERY KINGDOM.

The world is justly indignant at the accounts of the Chinese massacres of the missionaries who have perilled their lives in going so far to teach them Christianity.  Recently, for example, a young lady teacher from Boston was so terribly stoned by some of the unregenerate little pig-tailed fiends in Canton, that she died the next day.  It is dreadful to think how savage the instincts of the heathen are.

P.S.—­Since the above was set up in type, MR. PUNCHINELLO has learned that the Canton in which this occurrence took place is not in China, but is a thriving village in Norfolk county, Massachusetts, about eighteen miles from Boston, and that the assailants were consequently not pig-tailed heathen, but genuine Christian children, who, in a few years, will belong to the cultivated voters of Massachusetts.  This action, consequently, was not dictated by unregenerate barbarism, but was intended simply as a protest (rough, we confess, but effectual, we trust) against these new-fangled ideas of women’s rights.  What business have women to be trying to teach?  Let them stay at home, and if they want to know anything, ask their husbands, there; and if they are unmarried, let them wait until they get husbands.  We must not let our natural gallantry interfere with our reverence and respect for the rights of ignorance, which will eventually vote.

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A THRICE BLESSED CITY.

There is a city in Illinois called St. Genevieve.  By some hocus-pocus known to accomplished politicians, this city has had no Mayor since the 4th of June, 1867.  In the absence of definite information upon the subject, we take it for granted that St. Genevieve must be a most delightful place to live in, and specially so, because, as we are further informed, they have no Aldermen there either.  More delightful still, as there is nobody authorized to assess taxes, the fortunate inhabitants do not pay any.  Of course, if this state of primitive bliss could last, Mr. PUNCHINELLO would make immediate arrangements to remove to St. Genevieve; but the courts have ordered the citizens to elect a Mayor immediately, so that this little heaven upon earth will soon have ceased to exist.

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[Illustration:  LETTING HIM DOWN EASY.

Aspiring Author. “Ah!  You have read my essay?  I hope the verdict is Favorable.”

Editor. “O yes, all Right,—­Acquitted on the ground of insanity.”]

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OUR PORTFOLIO.