Punchinello, Volume 2, No. 34, November 19, 1870 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 52 pages of information about Punchinello, Volume 2, No. 34, November 19, 1870.

Punchinello, Volume 2, No. 34, November 19, 1870 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 52 pages of information about Punchinello, Volume 2, No. 34, November 19, 1870.

Mr. CHASE spoke rather thick and fast, but I understood him to pronounce in favor of that platform which would get the most votes.  “If the people think it ought to be done, why, do it.  The country needs taxation, and is anxious to have me President.  I think I can borrow money enough in Wall street to pay the passage of a moderate number of men to Charleston, but they mustn’t on any account be CHASE men.  I don’t want any of my friends killed off before the next Presidential election.”

“What the Administration lacks,” chimed in BLAIR, “is backbone.  Powder and ball, and blood are my sentiments.  Fill all the army and navy offices with the BLAIR family, and secession is dead.”

SEWARD again:  “Strengthen Pickens, and let Sumter go.  Our soldiers will find it healthier and more commodious at Pickens.  I’ll have the Powhatan sent there forthwith.”

Hereupon Mr. GIDEON WELLES woke up and remarked, in a strain of apology, that be hadn’t read his commission yet, but it was his impression that he was the head of what was called the Navy Department.  Coming from an inland town, he didn’t exactly know whether the Secretary of State or himself had the ordering about of our national vessels; but he rather thought he would relieve his friend SEWARD of that burden.  He had talked with several old sea-dogs.  They all agreed that the success of the plan depended on its feasibility.  Capt.  Fox, a private citizen of Massachusetts, had been down there with a horse and buggy, and reports that a squad of marines could do the job up in good style.

Mr. BATES was called upon, and stated that strengthening Sumter, without giving the Southerners four weeks’ notice of our intention, would not, in his opinion, be unconstitutional.

At this juncture Mr. FLOYD (who, having acquired the habit of attending BUCHANAN’S cabinet meetings, had not quite got over it) put his head in for a moment to suggest, that if the Black Republican Government would evacuate all the forts on Southern territory, remunerate his friends for their expenses, and execute a quit-claim deed of Washington and the national property to JEFF.  DAVIS and other Southern leaders, the proposition might possibly be accepted, and trouble avoided.

Mr. SEWARD rose to add only a word, and that word was “Pickens.”

The Secretary of the Interior observed, that as Charleston harbor wasn’t in his department, he would say nothing.

Mr. BATES urged that the people of his section were loyal to the flag; in fact, they not only wanted the flag but the Capitol itself, and the national buildings (except the monument), removed to St. Louis; if they couldn’t get that, they might be satisfied if Fort Sumter were towed around there, up the Mississippi.  It would certainly be a good deal safer there.

Mr. GIDEON WELLES wanted it distinctly understood that Gen. SCOTT, Gen. HOLT, Capt.  FOX and the Powhatan could save the country if Mr. SEWARD would let them; otherwise he would make a minute of these deliberations, and if his friend Mr. YOUNG (whom he was pleased to see present) didn’t expose it, he himself would put it in the shape of a lively sketch, and send it to the magazines.

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Punchinello, Volume 2, No. 34, November 19, 1870 from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.