Answer. Let things alone.  Clubs are not always Trumps.

Margaret Shortcake.—­I have a great dread of being buried alive.  Will holding a looking-glass to the face of a person supposed to be dead determine whether breathing has ceased or not?

Answer. The test is used by physicians.  There is an instance on record of a looking-glass being thus applied to a young girl who had been unconscious for hours.  She opened her eyes to look at herself in it, which proved that she was wide awake.

Widow McRue.—­How soon after my husband’s death would it be proper for me to give up my weeds?

Answer. If your husband allowed you to smoke during his life-time, we do not see why you should give up the practice after his death.  Although we do not approve of women smoking, yet a fragrant weed between pearly teeth, with an azure cloud curling heavenward from it, has a certain fascination, and so our advice is, “Dry up (your tears), and light a fresh Havana.”

Speculator.—­What is the best way to double a $20 bill?

Answer. With a paper-folder.

Frost-on-the-Pane.—­From languid circulation, or some other cause, I frequently go to bed with cold feet.  How can I remedy this?

Answer. Don’t go to bed.  Sleep in a chair.

* * * * *

POLITICS AS A FINE ART.

First Class in Politics, stand up.

First boy—­Define politics as an art.

Politics are the art of eating, drinking, sleeping, and wearing good clothes at the public expense.

Next—­Is taking presents of houses, horses, &c., included in this art?

No sir, that’s a natural gift.

Who invented politics?

It has been stated by Mr. SUMNER that politics were well known to the early Greeks and Romans; but they were first reduced to an art by T. WEED.

What are the elements of success in politics?

Cheek and stamps.

At what place is this art most cultivated?

At Washington.

How many classes of politicians are there?

Three:  big strikes, little strikes, and repeaters.

Define them.

Big strikes are those who, when they make a haul, mean business.  Little strikes are those who look after the pence, while the big strikes are looking after the pounds.  Both these classes have steady occupation.  Repeaters are little strikes who are employed only at election time.

Where are they found?

In both the Republican and Democratic schools.

JOHN SMITH, go to the board and do this example:  If the House of Representatives has a Republican majority of thirty, and it remains in session until 8 P.M. on the 4th of July, at what time will a Democrat, whose seat is contested by a Republican, obtain that seat?

THOMAS BROWN, you can try the same example with the Assembly at Albany, only taking the majority as Democratic, and the man whose seat is contested as Republican.