Pugnacity.—­This is a quality by no means to be lightly spoken of, especially in a District represented by that eminent warrior, the Hon. Mr. MORRISSEY.  Our fathers fought, bled, and died for liberty, and the least an independent citizen can do is to be willing to fight and bleed (and even he “kilt”) in the same behalf.  There is a difference, however, between dying and being “kilt,” which we need not point out to those noble champions of liberty who are also of the Celtic persuasion.

II.  QUALIFICATIONS OF AN EDITOR.

Mendacity.—­This is a talent mainly developed in the manipulation of election returns.  But it may be exhibited in various other ways.  Here, for instance, is an obnoxious candidate who is a quiet, respectable, honest, church-going family man.  The height of mendacious talent is shown in representing this paragon of virtue to be a brawler, a blackguard, a swindler, an infidel, and a bad husband and father.  If he mildly denies that he is any such person, the proper course is to call him all the unpleasant names over again, adding, by way of clincher, that he is popularly supposed to have murdered his grandmother.  This will floor him.

Verbosity.—­This is the power of writing two columns in answer to a three-line paragraph—­of twisting, turning, transmogrifying, dissecting, kicking, cuffing, illustrating, turning inside out, and outside in again the aforesaid paragraph.  The real master of this art will show his skill by the great number of times in which he will manage to say “We” in the course of his lucubration.

III.  QUALIFICATIONS OF A CANDIDATE.

Density.—­This indicates the utter incapacity of a candidate to understand any public question.  It is a very safe quality, for the more he knows, the less likely is he to commit himself.  It is an equally pleasant quality, since it enables its possessor to take the fence and to maintain it, while, by a sort of optical delusion, each party supposes him to be upon its own side.  It saves regular out and out lying, if Mr. GREELEY will allow us to use so strong a word.  For instance, if asked, “Are you in favor of a Protective Tariff?” the candidate may answer, “I am” (for he doesn’t know whether he is) or “I am not” (for he does not know but he may be a most cantankerous Free Trader).  In this way he may, with Roman honesty, satisfy everybody, and promote peace and good-will and that sort of thing in the handsomest manner.

Capillary Attraction.—­This is analogous to receptivity in the voter.  If the citizen drinks hugely, the candidate must be able to keep up with him; and to have a sponge stomach equal to the absorption of quarts, and even of gallons, is a piece of excellent good fortune for the man who is fool enough to want to go to Congress, instead of enjoying the delights of obscurity.  Verily, he has his reward.  He who suffers in the gin-mills of New York may recover himself in the Champagne-sparkling saloons of Washington.