Why should dentists be entitled to class with artists?  Because they all draw.

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NEWSPAPER PERILS.

The local reporter of a Boston daily gives us the following: 

“On Wednesday morning, as the early freight train on the Old Colony railroad neared the bridge in Quincy, THOMAS ELLIS, a brakeman, raised up for the purpose of throwing off a bundle of newspapers, when he was struck by the timbers of the bridge and knocked senseless upon his car.  He wan saved from rolling to the track by TIMOTHY LEE, a paper boy who was upon the train.”

We are sorry for ELLIS.  But he ought to be thankful for one thing,—­he has a mission.  He need not ask, like ANNA DICKINSON:  “Why was I born?” It is all settled that he was “raised up” for the purpose of throwing off newspapers.  Now, although he missed it this time, we have no doubt he is ordinarily as successful in that line as the most improved Lightning Press could be.  Should he, unfortunately, continue senseless, PUNCHINELLO suggests that THOMAS devote himself to “throwing off” editorial articles for the Sun,

It was very noble in TIMOTHY LEE so promptly to come to the rescue.  But,—­hold!  PUNCHINELLO will not be imposed upon:  at this moment are there not grounds for suspecting this “paper boy” to have been merely a “man of straw”?

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[Illustration:  APPROPRIATE.

Pompey, (sawing.) “HOW YOU GWINE TO VOTE, SAM?—­I’SE BIN saw BY DE ’PUBLICAN PARTY.”

Sambo. “BOFE PARTIES SEE’D ME, AND SO I’M GWINE TO SPLIT.”]

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A Sporting Con.

Why is the famous horse DEXTER like a musical conductor?

Because he beats Time.

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Theatrical Item.

Since Colonel FISK, Jr., floored that other manager, he is known in the profession as the great floor manager.

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Good News for the Birds.

In Westchester county a fine of $25 is hereafter to be levied upon each jackass in human form who shoots birds on Sunday.  It is to be hoped that the little bills may thus be saved from holiday havoc by persons who object to incurring large ones.

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[Illustration:  CONSTERNATION OF THE EDITORIAL STAFF OF THE NEW YORK SUN, (INCLUDING THE OFFICE BOY,) ON SEEING CHIEF EDITOR PECKSNIFF DANA DECLINING TO ACCEPT A HEAVY BRIBE OFFERED HIM TO PUBLISH A MENDACIOUS PARAGRAPH ABOUT A RESPECTABLE CONTEMPORARY.]

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A NEW SENSATION WANTED.

The reprehensible haste with which various European nations terminate their wars is a source of annoyance to every one.  Hardly have we acquired a decided taste for news of some transient war or other, when the conflicting parties judge that they have had enough of it, and thus an avenue of enjoyment is summarily closed.