Punchinello, Volume 2, No. 30, October 22, 1870 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 52 pages of information about Punchinello, Volume 2, No. 30, October 22, 1870.

Punchinello, Volume 2, No. 30, October 22, 1870 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 52 pages of information about Punchinello, Volume 2, No. 30, October 22, 1870.

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[Illustration:  COMFORTING ASSURANCES.

H.  Greeley and G. W. Curtis, together. “OHO!  LITTLE WOODFORD; AIN’T YOU GOING TO BE LICKED, NEITHER!—­WON’T YOU GET YOUR EYES BLACKED, AND YOUR NOSE SMASHED, AND YOUR TEETH BROKE!—­AIN’T I GLAD I AIN’T THE ONE AS HAS GOT TO FIGHT BIG JOHNNY HOFFMAN!”]

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AN AGRICULTURAL RHYME.

NOT BY H. G.

    Plough deep—­two feet, at least—­for corn or rye. 
    You can’t, in stony land?  Sir, that’s a lie;
    A sub-soil plough will do it; then manure,
    And put on plenty; if the land is poor,
    Get muck and plaster; buy them by the heap,
    No matter what they cost, you’ll find them cheap. 
    I’ve tried them often, and I think I know,
    Then plough again two feet before you sow.

    Potatoes get on best in sandy soil,
    I’m sure of that—­but plant before you boil;
    Then put in strawberries; that’s what I do—­
    Confound you for a blockhead!  Why don’t you
    Get modern works and read them?  No, you’d rather
    Go creeping on just like your stupid father. 
    That patch is good for melons.  Why the deuce
    Don’t you convert those swamps to better use?

    Beets are a paying crop, and don’t cost much
    To raise; so’s cabbage, pumpkins, squash, and such;
    They’ll always sell and bring you back your money—­
    No bees?  The mischief!  What d’ye do for honey? 
    Sir, let me tell you plainly you’re an ass—­
    Just look at those ten acres gone to grass! 
    Put turnips in ’em.  Timothy don’t pay—­
    Can’t cattle feed on anything but hay?

    I don’t consider hogs a first-class crop;
    Give me my own free choice, sir, and I’d swap
    The best of ’em for strawberries or sheep—­
    But let me say again, you must plough deep;
    The trouble with our farmers is, that they
    Can’t be induced to look beyond to-day;
    Let them get sub-soil ploughs and turn up sand
    And hang it, sir! let them manure their land.

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SALVATION FOR EUROPE.

Some hope that the great Powers of Europe may yet be saved from a fate similar to that of the Kilkenny Cats, is to be found in the fact that General BURNSIDE, favorably known in Rhode Island, is making arrangements for bringing about peace between France and Germany.  It has already been said by journalists of mark, that, unless Providence interfered, and that soon, all Europe would shortly be deluged with the blood of her peoples.  General BURNSIDE is the direct representative of Providence, and he has gone specially to Europe to interfere.  He was born in Providence, (R.I.); he believes in Providence; his portrait is the special pride of Providence; and there is a “Providence that shapes his ends.” 

Copyrights
Project Gutenberg
Punchinello, Volume 2, No. 30, October 22, 1870 from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.