* * * * *
[Illustration: COMFORTING ASSURANCES.
H. Greeley and G. W. Curtis, together. “OHO! LITTLE WOODFORD; AIN’T YOU GOING TO BE LICKED, NEITHER!—WON’T YOU GET YOUR EYES BLACKED, AND YOUR NOSE SMASHED, AND YOUR TEETH BROKE!—AIN’T I GLAD I AIN’T THE ONE AS HAS GOT TO FIGHT BIG JOHNNY HOFFMAN!”]
* * * * *
AN AGRICULTURAL RHYME.
NOT BY H. G.
Plough deep—two
feet, at least—for corn or rye.
You can’t, in stony
land? Sir, that’s a lie;
A sub-soil plough will do
it; then manure,
And put on plenty; if the
land is poor,
Get muck and plaster; buy
them by the heap,
No matter what they cost,
you’ll find them cheap.
I’ve tried them often,
and I think I know,
Then plough again two feet
before you sow.
Potatoes get on best in sandy
soil,
I’m sure of that—but
plant before you boil;
Then put in strawberries;
that’s what I do—
Confound you for a blockhead!
Why don’t you
Get modern works and read
them? No, you’d rather
Go creeping on just like your
stupid father.
That patch is good for melons.
Why the deuce
Don’t you convert those
swamps to better use?
Beets are a paying crop, and
don’t cost much
To raise; so’s cabbage,
pumpkins, squash, and such;
They’ll always sell
and bring you back your money—
No bees? The mischief!
What d’ye do for honey?
Sir, let me tell you plainly
you’re an ass—
Just look at those ten acres
gone to grass!
Put turnips in ’em.
Timothy don’t pay—
Can’t cattle feed on
anything but hay?
I don’t consider hogs
a first-class crop;
Give me my own free choice,
sir, and I’d swap
The best of ’em for
strawberries or sheep—
But let me say again, you
must plough deep;
The trouble with our farmers
is, that they
Can’t be induced to
look beyond to-day;
Let them get sub-soil ploughs
and turn up sand
And hang it, sir! let them
manure their land.
* * * * *
SALVATION FOR EUROPE.
Some hope that the great Powers of Europe may yet be saved from a fate similar to that of the Kilkenny Cats, is to be found in the fact that General BURNSIDE, favorably known in Rhode Island, is making arrangements for bringing about peace between France and Germany. It has already been said by journalists of mark, that, unless Providence interfered, and that soon, all Europe would shortly be deluged with the blood of her peoples. General BURNSIDE is the direct representative of Providence, and he has gone specially to Europe to interfere. He was born in Providence, (R.I.); he believes in Providence; his portrait is the special pride of Providence; and there is a “Providence that shapes his ends.”