I have prepared a serious of questions, which I propose to ask candydates who come sneakin around for my sufferage.

Skedyule of Interogertories.

What’s your principals, and is the interest payable in gold or greenbax?

If elected to offis, will you squander all your salary and retire poorer than a church mouse? or will you give such strict attention to your dooties as will enable you to salt down $100,000.00 per yeer from the enormous salary of $1500.00 ($ fifteen hundred)?

Do you think, takin an iron clad oath has got anything to do with a sertin commandment which says, “Thou shalt not steel”?

Are you a beleiver in E. CADY STANTON’S revoolushinary idees, that woman is the “coming man,” and if so, how do you like it as fur as yoo’ve got?

Do you think THEODORE TILTON, ED STUDWELL, STEVE GRISWOLD, FRED DUGLIS, and SOOSAN B. ANTHONY would make as good Presidents of the U.S. as a man would?

Is your wife one of them strong-minded critters, who believes that husbands had orter stay home and nuss the baby while she goes out and plays baseball?

Will you fall onto a voter’s sholders, who eats garlix and onions, and shed tears as freely the day arter eleckshun as you will the nite before?

Could you sing the “Battle-cry of freedom” so luvly, if it wasent for Unkle Sam’s Notes?

Would you have any objections, if our National and Common Counsels, like that of Rome, should organize Economikle Counsels?

In the war on tother side of the pond, is your sympathies for Lager or Pea soup?

If you want the German vote, don’t you think it would be your politikle bier to get at lager-heads with the Prushians?

Did you ever think before, that yourself and family, way back 15 or 20 generations in the grave, were such a lot of low-lived villyians as the opposition papers say you be? and haint it a mistery to you that you are allowed to go unhung?

Did you commit the NATHAN murder? if so, why dident you call off your "dorg"?

Do you know as much about farmin as HORRIS GREELY does? if so, who told you?

Are you a Fenian, Know-nothin, Mason, Anti-mason, Labor Reformer, Anti-labor Reformer, a Chineese cooler, Anti-Chineese cooler, and the “wickedest man in N.Y.”?  Are you in favor of free trade, high tariff, free whiskey, whiskey tax, JIM FISK, MARETZEK, Tammany, the Young Democracy, Grand Army of the Republicans, GEO. F. TRAIN, MRS. CUNNINGHAM, and the D—­l?

In fact, like JOSEFF, have you got a cote of many cullers?

Any candydate who can give affirmative ansers to the foregoin Catekism, and is willin to show his principals by bleedin freely, can get my vote, sure popp.

Ewers trooly, & I haint afrade To jine the bread & butter brigade.

HIRAM GREEN, Esq.,

Lait Gustise of the Peese.