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“FALL” WEATHER.

The subject of bringing down rain by the firing of artillery has again been revived, owing to the long droughts that have lately prevailed.  What gives a color of feasibility to it, at present, is the fact that the Reign of LOUIS NAPOLEON has lately been brought down by Prussian guns.

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[Illustration:  A SIGHT TOO BAD!

Struggling Cuba. “YOU MUST BE AWFULLY NEAR-SIGHTED, MR. PRESIDENT, NOT TO RECOGNIZE ME.”

U.  S. G. “NO:  I AM FAR-SIGHTED; FOR I CAN RECOGNIZE FRANCE.”]

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HIRAM GREEN’S POLITICAL SENTIMENTS.

His Reason for Leaving his Party.—­A Catechism for Candidates.

I hain’t gilty of any stated polertix, as Ime aware of.

For an old man, Ime helthy and sound as a nut on all public questions.  I use to be an old line Whig, and was a pooty active thimble-rigger as long as it paid.  But when that party refoosed to renominate me for the offis of Gustese of the Peece, like a thurar bred polertician, I shook ‘em.  Said I, standin’ ontop a sugar hogshead, at a primary meetin, which was bein held in SIMMINSES grocery store:—­

Feller sitizens of the Whig party, Refoose to renominate good men for offisses, and you can pack your duds and git your carpet bags checkt for the next steamer goin up Salt River.

Leave my name off’n your ticket for another term of offis, and there won’t be enuff left in your old politikle carciss to grease a flap-jack griddle with.  In the words of Mister—­Mister—­Somebody, “A word to the wise is—­is—­enuff to make a—­hoss laff.”

And here I say it, Mister PUNCHINELLO, I wasent nominated.

Dident I smash things?  Gess not!  I norgarated a bolt which spread like pourin keroseen ile over a marble floor, and the next fall, SCOTT & GRAHAM was nockt hire’n the Himmely mountins, while the old Whig party shoveled off its mortil quarrel.

Thus, as HORRIS GREELY, in his remarks on politikle Economy, says:  “Vengents, like a 2 tined pitchfork in the hands of Old Nick, will bust up any party which goes back onto its trusted leaders.  ’Vengents is mine,’ says the disappinted offis seeker, and on Election day he peddles split tickets ontil the poles close.”

Standin as I do on nootral ground, I wish like JOHN BULL I could make my nootrality pay as well as J. B. does, by sellin stores to the Prooshians and the French.

In castin my suferage this fall, I shall go Principals not men.  A principal which is good for its little 7 per cent. intrest payable semi-annually, is what ales me.

    High-toned (?) principals, and not men,
      Is what’s the matter in this ere breast,
    The Lait Gustise his influence will lend
      To him whose principal pays the best. 
                         (Campane poickry.)