Finally, let us substitute phrases or clauses for unnecessary sentences.  The following series of independent assertions contains avoidable repetitions:  “One morning I was riding on the subway to my work.  It was always my custom to ride to my work on the subway.  This morning I met Harry Blake.”  The full thought may better be embodied in a single sentence:  “One morning, while I was, as usual, riding on the subway to my work, I met Harry Blake.”

By applying these instructions to any page at hand—­one from your own writing, one from a letter some friend has sent you, one from a book or magazine—­you will often be able to strike out many of the words without at all impairing the meaning.  Another means of acquiring succinct expression is to practice the composition of telegrams and cable messages.  You will of course lessen the cost by eliminating every word that can possibly be spared.  On the other hand, you must bear it in mind that your punctuation will not be transmitted, and that the recipient must be absolutely safeguarded against reading together words meant to be separated or separating words meant to be read together.  That is, your message must be both concise and unmistakably clear.

EXERCISE — Wordiness II

1.  Condense the editorial (Appendix 1) by eliminating unnecessary words and finding briefer equivalents for roundabout expressions.

2.  Try to condense similarly the Parable of the Sower (Appendix 3) and the Seven Ages of Man (Appendix 4). (The task will largely or altogether baffle you, but will involve minute study of tersely written passages.)

3.  Condense the following: 

A man whose success in life was due solely to his own efforts rose in his place and addressed the man who presided over the meeting.

A girl who sat in the seat behind me giggled in an irritating manner.

We heard the wild shriek of the locomotive.  Any sound in that savage region seemed more terrible than it would in civilized surroundings.  So as we listened to the shriek of the locomotive, it sounded terrible too.

I heard what kind of chauffeur he was.  A former employer of his told me.  He was a chauffeur who speeded in reckless fashion because he was fond of having all the excitement possible.

4.  Condense the following into telegrams of ten words or less: 

Arrived here in Toledo yesterday morning talked with the directors found them not hostile to us but friendly.

Detectives report they think evidence now points to innocence of man arrested and to former employee as the burglar.

5.  The following telegrams are ambiguous.  Clarify them.

Jane escaped illness I feared Charley better.

Buy oil if market falls sell cotton.

6.  Base a telegraphic night letter of not more than fifty words upon these circumstances: