“The sun set” is more natural and effective than “The celestial orb that blesses our terrestrial globe with its warm and luminous rays sank to its nocturnal repose behind the western horizon.”  Great writers—­the true masters—­have often held “fine writing” and pretentious speaking up to ridicule.  Thus Shakespeare has Kent, who has been rebuked for his bluntness, indulge in a grandiloquent outburst: 

  “Sir, in good sooth, in sincere verity,
  Under the allowance of your grand aspect,
  Whose influence, like the wreath of radiant fire
  On flickering Phoebus’ front,—­”

No wonder Kent is interrupted with a “What meanest by this?” Sometimes great writers use ornate utterance for humorous effects.  Thus Dickens again and again has Mr. Micawber express a commonplace idea in sounding terms which at length fail him, so that he must interject an “in short” and summarize his meaning in a phrase amusing through its homely contrast.  But humor based on ponderous diction is too often wearisome.  Better say simply “He died,” or colloquially “He kicked the bucket,” than “He propelled his pedal extremities with violence against the wooden pail which is customarily employed in the transportation of the aquatic fluid.”

EXERCISE — Wordiness I

Express these ideas in simpler language: 

The temperature was excessive.  The most youthful of his offspring was not remarkable for personal pulchritude.  Henry Clay expressed a preference for being on the right side of public questions to occupying the position of President of the United States of America.  He who passes at an accelerated pace may nevertheless be capable of perusing.  A masculine member of the human race was mounted on an equine quadruped.

But the number of the terms we employ, as well as their ostentatiousness, must be considered.  Most of us blunder around in the neighborhood of our meaning instead of expressing it briefly and clearly.  We throw a handful of words at an idea when one word would suffice; we try to bring the idea down with a shotgun instead of a rifle.  Of course one means of correction is that we should acquire accuracy, a quality already discussed.  Another is that we should practice condensation.

First, let us learn to omit the words which add nothing to the meaning.  Thus in the sentence “An important essential in cashing a check is that you should indorse it on the back,” several words or groups of words needlessly repeat ideas which are expressed elsewhere.  The sentence is as complete in substance, and far terser in form, when it reads “An essential in cashing a check is that you should indorse it.”

Next, let us, when we may, reduce phrases and even clauses to a word.  Thus the clause at the beginning and the phrase at the close of the following sentence constitute sheer verbiage:  “Men who have let their temper get the better of them are often in a mood to do harm to somebody.”  The sentence tells us nothing that may not be told in five words:  “Angry men are often dangerous.”