PROLOGUE. A seedy husband who is audaciously palmed upon the public as a Reasoning Animal is discovered in a London garret, with a healthy-looking wife, in a rapid consumption.

REASONING ANIMAL.  “I loved you, my dear, and therefore brought you from a comfortable home to this dreary garret.  I cannot bear to leave you, so I will go out for a walk.” (The bell rings, and the wife’s mother, brother and family physician enter.)

MOTHER.  “You must leave your husband and come home and live with us.”

BROTHER.  “Of course you must.  You need not hesitate about a little thing like that.  Go into the other room and consult the Doctor.  Here comes your husband.” (Re-enter REASONING ANIMAL.)

REASONING ANIMAL.  “Her berrotherr!  Herre!”

BROTHER, “Yes.  You can’t support your wife.  The Doctor says she needs nice parties and other necessaries of life.  Give her to us, and go to California.”

REASONING ANIMAL.  “I will.  Bring her here till I embrace her. (She is brought.) Farewell, my dear.  I will go and make my fortune.”

WIFE.  “Take our little girl with you.”

REASONING ANIMAL.  “I will, for she needs a mother’s care.  Good-bye! 
Leave me to weep and wash the baby’s face and hands alone.”

ACT I.—­Scene, a California mining-camp.  Various miners of assorted nationalities—­one of each—­hard at work lying on the ground.

1ST MINER.  “I want more whiskey.”

CHORUS.  “So do we.”

2ND MINER.  “MAY WILDROSE won’t sell any more.”

CHORUS.  “But she gives it to her lover.”

3RD MINER.  “He looks clean; he must have found a nugget.  Let’s kill him.”

4TH MINER.  “Sh—­we will.” (Enter MAY WILDROSE—­which her name it is MISS LOTTA.)

MAY.  “Here comes my darling LIONEL.  Let me get you some brandy, love.”

LIONEL.  “Certainly, my dear.  How full of forethought is a true woman’s love!”

CHORUS of MINERS.  “She gives it to him, but not to us.  Beware, young woman, or we will go back on you.”

MAY.  “No you won’t.  My father earns a laborious living by making me keep a whiskey shop.  We have a monopoly of the business, and you will have to buy of us, whether you like it or not.  Get out of my sight, or I’ll lick the whole boiling of you.” (They fly, and she returns to the parental whiskey shop.)

LIONEL.  “Night is coming on.  I will go among the rocks; why, I don’t know, but still I will go.” (Goes.  Three miners follow and attack him.)

LIONEL.  “Save me, somebody.”

MAY. Appearing suddenly with a revolver—­“You bet.” (She shoots the miners and brings down the curtain triumphantly.)

ACT II.—­Scene—­the whiskey shop of the REASONING ANIMAL.—­LIONEL asleep on a bed evidently borrowed from some boarding-house—­since it is several feet too short for him.—­MAY engaged in peeling potatoes.—­Enter REASONING ANIMAL.