For the benefit of his readers, however, Mr. P. will lift up this heavily shotted lap-cloth and show what was under it.

[Illustration]

Here is arranged a steam-engine, which drives the wheels of the vehicle, and which will of course propel the whole turnout, horse and all, at a great rate of speed.

It will now be easily perceived why Mr. P. persisted in keeping his lap-cloth over his knees.

The entries were as follows: 

ROBERT BONNER’S     b. h.       Dexter. 
DEREN O. SUE’S      b. m.       Lady Thorn. 
PUNCHINELLO’S       y. h.       Creeping Peter.

When the word was given, the horses all got off well and Dexter immediately took the lead,—­buzzing through the air like a humming-top,—­followed closely by Lady Thorn, her nose just lapping his off jaw.  For the first few seconds Mr. P. fell behind, owing to his fires not yet being properly under way, but the water soon bubbled merrily in his boiler, and his wheels began to revolve with great rapidity.  And now he sped merrily.  Never did the war trumpet inspire the fiery charger, or hounds and horn excite the mettled hunter, as the steam-engine in his rear woke all the energies of Creeping Peter.

Swift as revolving pin-wheels or rapid peg-top, those spavins, those ring-bones, those bulbous hocks, those sand-cracked hoofs and those rattling ribs went whistling o’er the track.  Mid the shouts and yells of the excited multitude he passed Lady Thorn, overtook Dexter and shot ahead of him!  But he cannot stand that tremendous pace, and down goes Creeping Peter on his knees.  Every man who had bet against him set up a howl of rapture, but Mr. P. never relaxed a muscle, and on went Creeping Peter, just as fast as ever, his horny bones dashing away the sand and gravel like spray from the cut-water of a scudding yacht, and, amid the wildest clamor, he shot past the judges’ stand on his nose and one leg, making his mile in two minutes and two seconds!

[Illustration]

It is needless to dwell upon the results of this race.

Mr. P. now owes no man anything, nor is he even indebted to his noble steed.  Behold his testimony to the merits of that valuable animal!

[Illustration]

* * * * *

Something Original In Suicide.

An item in an evening paper states that “a man near Syracuse recently cut his throat with a scythe.”

Well, certainly this was a new Mowed of doing the business, although, as it was the first instance of the kind on record, it cannot properly be said that the business was done a la mowed.

* * * * *

Jocular and Ocular.

Can the public be properly said to have looked forward to SEEBACH?

* * * * *

ANNA DICKINSON.