“And if there’s any danger comes to France,”
      Remarks the seventh man, “Ireland will arise!”
    “And if she does, old England will advance!”
      The eighth (an Englishman,) with pride replies.

    And so they have it hot, for half a day,—­
      First A., then B., then C. and D. at once,
    And thus the precious moments roll away,
      And none can tell who is the greatest dunce.

* * * * *

The Aldermen to their Dinner.

Gorge us!

* * * * *

[Illustration:  THE OVATION OF MURDER.

The Devil, (soliloquizing.) “NEW YORK’S THE PLACE FOR ME!  THIS IS WHAT I CALL REAL ENJOYMENT—­A MURDERER’S FUNERAL PROCESSION GRANDER FAR THAN THAT OF ANY GREAT AND GOOD CITIZEN, AND THIS IN A CITY OF SUNDAY-SCHOOLS AND CHURCHES!”. (The Devil’s Walk:  Sunday, August 7, 1870.)]

* * * * *

HIRAM GREEN AT THE FEMALE CONVENTION.

The Cardiff Giant and other Fossils at Saratoga.

      “Duble, duble, heaps of truble,
      Wimmen’s rites will bust the bubble.”

      SHAKESPEAR. (WM.)

The wolves in sheeps clothin’ convenshed agin for an annual rippin’ up of things, at Saratogy.

The undersined, in custody of the undersined’s wife, who is a Hicockalormn of the Skeensboro Sore-eye-sisses, was present at the singin’ of the above selection from the defunct bard.

Male and femail wimmen was there dressed emblamatical of their callin’.

      “Black folks and white
      With red hair and gray,
      Mingled for a fite
      In Sar-a-to-ga.”  SHAKESPEAR & GREEN.

SOOZAN B. ANTHENY was scrumpshusly ragged out in broad-cloth.

A turkish towellin’ vest-pattent lether butes and silk hat, completed her Toot in cymbals.

ERNEST L. ROZE wore a nobby scotch cassimer soot.  She carried a cane and wore her hair parted in the middle.

Mrs. RUBE PHENTON—­MARTHY WRITE—­O’LIMPING BROWN—­SARY FILLEO—­Mrs. DEXTER NOLTON—­LILLY DEVERS BLAKE—­SARY HALLEK—­FEBEE CAREY, and other prominent Fireside agitaters and Herthstun depopulaters, were becominly araid, and did gustise to their tailors.

PHREDRICK DOUGLIS, a firey broonet from Rochester, looked bewitchin’ in a more anteek silk dress.

A camels hair overskirt hung grasefully over his loins.  Peepin’ out from beneath his robes, was a delicate little foot, encased in a flesh cullered pair of No. 11 buckskin mocasins.

His hair was done up in a 2 bushel waterfall, and was frizzled all over, a lar Ethiope.

EDWIN A. STUDWELL, of Brooklyn, looked stunnin’ in a granny Dean walkin’ dress and red cotton umbreller.

His back hair was tempestously arranged.

A couple of bolony sassiges, in a hily chawed up state, hung pendent from the aft of his gorgeous waterfall, and dangled to his heels, a lar cheapee John,