The ball came tearin’ along.

It was a little too swift for the old man.—­Rather too much “English” into it.  It “Kissed” and made a “scratch,” strikin’ the “Cushion” between the old man’s eyes.

This gave him the “cue.”  Tryin’ to make a “draw” with the wash bord, so as to “Uker” the ball, and “checkmate” the other club, he was “distansed,” and his spectacles went flyin’, smashin’ the glass and shuttin’ off his eyesite.

“Out! agin,” bellers the Umpire.

This was the first Blind innin’s for the “Roomatix.”

The “Bloostockin’s” bein’ told how this innin’s stood, by addressin’ them through their ear-trumpets, made a faint effort to holler “Whooray!”

And, I am grieved to say it, one by-stander, who diden’t understand the grate nashunal game, wanted to know: 

“What in thunder them old dry bones was cryin’ about”

It was a crooel remark, altho’ the old men, not bein’ used to hollerin’ much, and not havin’ any teeth, did make rather queer work tryin’ to holler.

Ime sorry to say, the game wasen’t finished.

Refreshments were served at the end of this innin’s, consistin’ of
Slippery Elm tea and water gruel.

The old men eat harty.

This made them sleepy, and the consequence was, that the minnit they was led out on the grass, “Sleep, barmy sleep,” got the best of ’em, and they laid down and slept like infants.

Both nines were then loaded onto stone botes and drawn off of the field.

The friends of both sides drew their stake money, and the Umpire, drawin’ a long breath, declared the match a draw game.

Basely Ewers, HIRAM GREEN, Esq.,

Lait Gustise of the Peece.

* * * * *

Bad Eggs.

The following suggestive item appears in an evening paper: 

“Illinois boasts of chickens hatched by the sun.”

Well, New York can beat Illinois at that game.  The chickens hatched by the Sun, here, are far too numerous for counting, and they are curses of the kind that will assuredly “come home to roost.”

* * * * *

Disagreeable, but True.

The restoration of the Bourbon dynasty is reckoned possible in France.

In this country the Bourbon die-nasty has never been played out.  It is a malignant disease, sometimes known as delirium tremens.

* * * * *

Musical.

Mlle. Silly, the daily papers inform us, has been engaged for the Grand Opera House in opera bouffe, and will make her debut about the middle of September.  The lady should not be confounded with any of our New York “girls of the period” who bear, (or ought to bear,) her name.

* * * * *

Caution to Readers.

Seven steady business men of this city, four solid capitalists of Boston, eighteen Frenchmen residents of the United States, but doing business nowhere, and a German butcher in the Bowery, have just been added to sundry lunatic asylums, their intellects having become hopelessly deranged from reading the conflicting telegrams about the war in Europe.