FRITZ. (Having left off his Sorosis disguise.) “Ja.  Das is nicht gut.  Behold, O wise young judge, the misguided person who put my trunk in his pocket and ran away with it.”

JUDGE.  “Prove your case.”

FRITZ.  “Ja.  Das ist gut.  Begar!  I proves him toute de suite—­what you call to wunst.  You see those Limburger cheese in the villain’s mouth.  He got them out of my trunk.  So you see I have him ein thief geproven.”

JUDGE.  “Your case is proved.  Let the prisoner be removed.”

FRITZ.  “Ja.  Das ist sehr gut.  Now I’m a gwine to de saloon, where dis niggah has a ningagement for to sing.”

(Scene changes to a concert saloon.  FRITZ enters and goes through an entire programme of negro minstrelsy, to the wild delight of the gallery.  At last the lazy curtain slowly consents to fall.)

ACT III.—­The DISSOLUTE COLONEL come to grief, and FRITZ marries KATRINA.  If you want to know all about it, go to the theatre.  I don’t intend to ruin the establishment by giving the public the whole play for the ridiculous sum which is charged for this copy of PUNCHINELLO.  The third act is the last of the play, and when the curtain fells, the audience immediately proceeds to pick EMMET to pieces.

BOY IN THE GALLERY.  “Ain’t he just tip, though?  I’ve seen him lots o’ times at TONY PASTOR’S, and I allers knowed he’d be a big thing if the Bowery or thishyer theatre got a hold on him.”

YOUNG LADY.  “Isn’t it frightfully low?  The idea of Mr. WALLACK permitting this negro minstrelsy in his theatre.  To be sure Mr. EMMET is funny; but I hate to see people funny in this place.”

OLD GENTLEMAN.  “My dear! don’t be absurd.  Suppose Mr. EMMET has been a minstrel, is that any proof that he can’t be an actor?  The young fellow has his faults, but they will wear off in time, and he is brimful of real talent.  The play isn’t a model of excellence, but it was made to show EMMET’S strong points, and it answers its purpose.  Shall we cry down a talented and promising young actor simply because he has been a minstrel, and now has the audacity to play at WALLACK’S?  And besides, haven’t we seen pantomime, and legs, and LOTTA, and DAN BRYANT at WALLACK’S?  You never objected to any of the illegitimacies that have preceded FRITZ;—­why then should you begin now?  Give EMMET and GAYLER a chance.  At any rate they can make you laugh, which is something that BOUCICAULT with his ‘Lost at Sea’ did not do.”

MATADOR.

* * * * *

A PARABLE ABOUT THE TWELFTH OF JULY.