“Yes,” replied Mr. K.  “You can always tell a Chinese bell from a Chinese gong by the bell-pull attached to it.”

Mr. P. immediately presented his chapeau to Mr. K.

* * * * *

HINTS FOR—­THOSE WHO WILL TAKE THEM.

Mr. PUNCHINELLO:  Your invaluable “Hints for the Family,” published some time since, seem destined to work a revolution in our domestic economy; as the plans you propose must win the admiration of housekeepers by their extreme simplicity, aside from any other motives to their adoption.  I have myself tested several of your methods, and find that you speak from thorough and circumstantial knowledge of your subject In bread-making, for instance, we find that when the cat reposes in the dough, it (the dough) will not rise, though the cat does.  But in the clock manufacture, we fear you have divulged one of the secrets of the trade.

Your little invention for carrying a thread should be recommended to students and other isolated beings, notwithstanding their unaccountable propensity to pierce other substances than the cloth.  They would find driving the needle through much facilitated by a skilful use of the table formerly described.

Permit me to make a few additional suggestions.

Get some worsted and a pair of needles; set up from twenty to forty stitches, more or less, and knit till you are tired.  When finished—­(the knitting)—­draw out the needles and bite off the thread.  You will thus have made an elegant lamp-mat, of the same color as the worsted, and the very thing for a Christmas present to your grandmother.

This is a very graceful employment, and a great favorite with ladies; in fact, some ladies seem so infatuated with work of that kind, that, according to the new theory of the Future, a fruition of fancy-work will be amongst their other blissful realizations.  And so, after surveying Deacon QUIRK’S spiritual potato fields, or perhaps some fresh (spiritual) manifestation of Miss PHELPS’S piety and intelligence, we may have the pleasure of seeing the sun and moon hung with tidies, and a lamp-mat under each star.

Take your rejected sketches and compositions, cut them in strips two or three inches wide, and as long as the paper will permit.  Fold these strips lengthwise as narrow as possible, and smooth the edges down flat with your finger.  When finished, or perhaps before, you will find you have made a bunch of excellent lamp-lighters.

Get a suit of clothes—­broadcloth is the best—­and a pair of boots to stand them in.  Button the coat, and insert in the neck any vegetable you choose, so that it be large enough, (one of the drum-head species is the best,) and finish with a hat You will then find, doubtless to your surprise and delight, that you have a man, or an excellent substitute for one, equal, if not superior to the genuine article, warranted to be always pleased with his dinner,