Punchinello, Volume 1, No. 09, May 28, 1870 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 50 pages of information about Punchinello, Volume 1, No. 09, May 28, 1870.

Punchinello, Volume 1, No. 09, May 28, 1870 eBook

This eBook from the Gutenberg Project consists of approximately 50 pages of information about Punchinello, Volume 1, No. 09, May 28, 1870.

* * * * *

Written With a Steal Pen.

So great is the habit among editors of cribbing from each other, that if one were to write an article about an egg another would immediately Poach it.

* * * * *

The Battle of Hastings.

The fight between the Commercial Advertiser and THEODORE TILTON.

* * * * *

Triumphs of the Chisel.

The Wall street “busts.”  Good judges pronounce them Per Phidias.

* * * * *

What an Asthmatic Artist can not Draw.

A long breath.

* * * * *

“The American Working-woman’s Union” Most Sought After.

MARRIAGE.

* * * * *

The Latest Edition of “Shoo!  Fly.”

“MOSQUITO” at Niblo’s.

* * * * *

THE CONGRESSMAN TO HIS CRITICS.

Well, talk, if you like; I suppose it’s your way; Each citizen, surely, should say all his say; I did just so, when I’d nothing to do; And if I felt like doing so, why shouldn’t you!

    It’s republican, pleasant, and safe, to find fault;
    If a man can’t do that, why he’s not worth his salt. 
    And never, since critics (and fleas) learned their powers,
    Was a country more blest with such vermin than ours.

    You’ve learned much about your old friend, it is said;
    The farther I’m from you, the plainer I’m read! 
    When “one of the people” comes here to make laws,
    The “people” disown him.  Now, what is the cause?

    You say I’m not “dignified.”  Well, friends—­are you? 
    My language, my manners, are rough, it is true;
    My tones, and my jokes, (since you say it,) are coarse;
    But very few streams rise above their own source.

    If we’re all “politicians,” and they are such trash
    As you have declared them, why were you so rash
    As to give us your votes?  What! will nobody “run”
    But a “mere politician?” Why, then we’re undone!

    Come, come—­this is nonsense!  Be fair, my good sirs! 
    Let us look at this question.  Suppose it occurs
    That a long, prosy speech is about to be made;
    If you say, “Stay and hear it,” must you be obeyed?

    But ours is a “serious business.”  True! 
    And so are some other things serious, too! 
    Such as courtships, and dinners, and headaches, and blues,
    And sight-seeing friends, whom ’tis death[1] to refuse!

    Now, many of us (though it should not be said!)
    Are really stupid, and haven’t much head. 
    We don’t take that view of our duty that you do;
    We’re often so bothered we don’t know what to do!

Copyrights
Project Gutenberg
Punchinello, Volume 1, No. 09, May 28, 1870 from Project Gutenberg. Public domain.