gleaming fiercely in the moonlight, putting in his very best in the way of catterwauling.  Two of the largest, one black as night and the other a dark grey or brindle, appeared to be particularly in earnest, and the way they scolded, and screamed, and swore at each other was a sin to hear.  I won’t undertake to report all they said; a decent regard for the proprieties of language, compels me to give only a sketch of the debate.

“‘You infernal, big-tailed, hump-backed, ugly-mugged thief,’ screamed the grey, ’I’d like to know what you are out here for this time of night, skulking, and creeping, and nosing about in the dark, poaching upon other people’s preserves?’

“‘Very well I mighty well!’ was the reply, ’for you, to talk, you black-skinned, ogre-eyed, growling and sputtering robber, to come upon this roof, sticking up your back and taking airs on yourself.  I’d like to know what business you’ve got to be prowling about and crowding yourself into honest people’s company?’

“’I’m a regular Tom Cat, I’d have you know, and go where I please, and I’ll stand none of your big talk and insolent looks.’ “’Insolent!  Hear the cowardly thief!  Insolent!  Very well, Mr. Tom Cat! very good, indeed!  Now, just take your black skin off of this roof, or you’ll get what will make you look cross-eyed foe a month.’

“’Get off this roof, I think you said.  Look at this set of ivory, and these claws, old greyback!  If you want I should leave this roof, just come and put me off.  Try it on, old Beeswax.  Yes, yes! try it on once, and we’ll see whose eyes will look straightest in the morning!  Come on, old Humpback!  Try it on, old Sausage Tail!’

“And then they pitched in, and such scratching and growling, scolding and swearing, and biting, and rolling over and over, I never happened to see or hear before.  About that time I dropped a boulder of coal, taken from the scuttle, weighing about half a pound, right among them (accidently of course).  Whether it hit any one I can’t positively affirm, but I heard a dull heavy sound, a kind of chug, as if it had struck against something soft, and the scream of one of the belligerents was brought to a sudden stop, by a sort of hysterical jerk, as though there had been a sudden lack of wind to carry it on.  It put an end to the disturbance, and all the rioters, save one, scampered away.  That one remained, all doubled up in a heap like, as if it had the sick headache, or been attacked with a sudden inflammation of the bowels.  If any body’s cat was found the next morning with a swelled head, or a great bunch on its side, and seemed dumpish, it’s my private opinion that that’s the one that lump of coal fell upon.  Still it did’nt do much good in the way of relieving me from the annoyance of these cat conventions.  They continued to congregate nightly on that long shed in the rear of my rooms.  I wasted more wood upon them than I could well afford to spare.  I used up all the brickbats I could lay my hands on.  I threw away something less than a ton of coal; and on two occasions came near being taken to the watch-house for smashing a window in the opposite block.  All this proved of no avail.  Indeed, my tormentors began at last to get used to it, to regard it as part of the performance.