CHAPTER I.

A GREAT INSTITUTION.

“It is a great institution,” I said, or rather thought aloud, one beautiful summer morning, as my wife was dressing the baby.  The little thing lay upon its face across her lap, paddling and kicking with its little bare arms and legs, as such little people are very apt to do, while being dressed.  It was not our baby.  We have dispensed with that luxury.  And yet it was a sweet little thing, and nestled as closely in our hearts as if it were our own.  It was our first grandchild, the beginning of a third generation, so that there is small danger of our name becoming extinct.  A friend of mine, who unfortunately has no voice for song, has a most excellent wife and beautiful baby, and cannot therefore be said to be without music at home.  It is his first descendant, and everybody knows that such are just the things of which fathers are very apt to be proud.  He was spending an evening with a neighbor, and was asked to sing.  He declined, of course, giving as a reason that he never sang.  “Why, Mr. H——­,” said a black-eyed little girl, of seven—­“why, Mr. H——­, don’t you never sing to the baby?” Sure enough!  I wonder if there ever was a civilized, a human man, who never sang to the baby.  I do not believe that there was ever such a paradox in nature, as a man who had tossed the baby up and down, balanced it on his hand, given it a ride on his foot, and yet never sang to it.  I do not care a fig about melody of voice, or science in quavering; I am not talking about sweetness of tone; what I mean to say is, that I do not believe there is a man living, even though he have no more voice than a raven, who is human, and yet never sang to the baby, always assuming that he has one.

“A great institution,” I repeated, half in soliloquy and half to my wife.

“What in the world are you talking about?” said Mrs. H——­, as she took a pin from her mouth, and fastened the band that encircled the waist of the baby.  The nurse was looking quietly on, quite willing that her work should be thus taken off her hands.  Will somebody tell me, if there ever was a grandmother, especially one who became such young, who could sit by, and see the nurse dress her first, or even her tenth grandchild, while it was a helpless little thing, say a foot or a foot and a half long?  The nurse is so unhandy; she tumbles the baby about so roughly, handles it so awkwardly, she will certainly dress it too loosely, or too tight, or leave a pin that will prick it, or some terrible calamity will happen.  So she takes possession of the little thing, and with a hand guided by experience and the instincts of affection, puts its things on in a Christian and comfortable way.

“A great institution!” I repeated again.

“I do believe the man has lost his wits,” remarked Mrs. H——­, handing the baby to the nurse.  “Who ever heard of a baby less than three months old being called an institution?”