We found the table covered with tempting dishes, served up in a costly and tasteful style, and a sprightly, well-looking female prepared to do the honours of the feast. She reproved our host for his delay, and told him the best dish was spoiled, by being cold. I was fearful of a discussion; but he sat down without making a reply, and immediately addressing the company, descanted on the various qualities of food, and their several adaptations to different ages, constitutions, and temperaments. He condemned the absurd practice which prevailed, for the master or mistress of the house to lavish entreaties on their guests to eat that which they might be better without; and insisted, at the same time, that the guests ought not to consult their own tastes exclusively. He maintained, that the only course worthy of rational and benevolent beings, was for every man to judge for his neighbour as well as for himself; and, should any collision arise between the different claimants, then, if any one were guided by that decision, which an honest and unbiassed judgment would tell him was right, they would all come to the same just and harmonious result.
“But,” added he, “you have not yet been sufficiently prepared for this disinterested operation. As ye have proved this night that ye are not yet purged of the feelings and prejudices of a vicious education, I will perform this office for you all, and set you an example, by which ye may hereafter profit. To begin, then, with you—(addressing himself to a corpulent man, of a florid complexion, at the lower end of the table:)—As you already have a redundancy of flesh and blood, I assign the soupe maigre to you; while to our mathematical friend on this side, whose delicate constitution requires nourishment, I recommend the smoking ragout. This cooling dish will suit your temperament,” said he to a third; “and this stimulating one, yours,” to a fourth. “Those little birds, which cost me five pieces, I shall divide between my terrestrial friend here (looking at the Brahmin) and myself, we being the most meritorious of the company, and it being of the utmost importance to society, that food so wholesome should give nourishment to our bodies, and impart vigour and vivacity to our minds.”
From this decision there was no appeal, and no other dissent than what was expressed by a look or a low murmur. But I perceived the corpulent gentleman and the wan mathematician slily exchange their dishes, by which they both seemed to consider themselves gainers. The dish allotted to me, being of a middling character, I ate of it without repining; though, from the savoury fumes of my right-hand neighbour’s plate, I could not help wishing I had been allowed to choose for myself.
This supper happening near the middle of the night, (at which time it was always pretty cool,) a cheerful fire blazed in one side of the room and I perceived that our host and hostess placed themselves so as to be at the most agreeable distance, the greater part of the guests being either too near or too far from it.