[What] we have [on Joe's Garage Act One] is just another set of songs on the sort of subject that seems to have occupied [Zappa's] forebrain for the past decade now, as the titles indicate: "Catholic Girls", "Crew Slut", "Wet T-Shirt Nite", etc., etc. The narrative structure seems to have been imposed on them after their composition, so it's hardly surprising that it fits rather loosely. Worse, very little of it grabs the short hairs at the back of the neck like "Concentration Moon", putting the Seventies to rest as definitely as "Money" did the illusions of the Sixties.

Musically, of course, it is as impeccable as ever, though the emphasis seems to be upon overall surface polish rather than those sudden flashes of individual, aberrant brilliance which distinguished even the dullest Zappa album in the past.

Only one song, "Why Does It Hurt When I Pee?", sticks...